A New Challenge for Boris

The sudden spell of warm weather in London has, sartorially, brought out the very worst in the male population -as it always does. God knows standards are low enough to begin with, but once the sun shows through, all manner of horrors are unleashed. This year's favoured look seems to be a combination of flipflops, shorts and a singlet cut away at the sides to expose the maximum amount of podgy flesh and damp body hair (and, ideally, a roll of fat peeping shyly from below). The effect is particularly distressing on public transport. Perhaps Boris, once he's stopped the lower orders drinking on the Tube and buses, should move on to enforcing a sound dress code - a new kind of sumptuary law for a new age.
Gentelemen, here - as if you need telling - are the ground rules. Shorts: never (unless as part of Services tropical kit). Singlet: never. Flipflops: Only on the beach. T-shirt: Under certain controlled circumstances (see Appendix D). Trousers: Obligatory. Here, by happy chance, is the England football squad demonstrating how it's done. All right, it was a while ago...