Monday, October 26, 2009
Cheryl Cole
The Telegraph letters include some thoughts on the most inappropriate music to play for a funeral. Tony Hallam writes, 'Sir, My friend has requested 'Nellie the Elephant packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus." Mr Hallam's friend is a genius. Nige, as I recall, has his funeral music thoroughly organised. This includes Bryn Terfel singing Schubert's Litany for the Feast of All Souls, which seems about right. He didn't mention Nellie, but I feel she will have been on his shortlist. For myself, I am undecided, torn between The Jayhawks' Smile, You'll Never Find a Nessie in the Zoo and Mahler's Das Lied for der Erde. But I think Nige suggested minimising the dynamic range for funereal purposes, so I suppose none of these quite qualify. Cheryl Cole unaccompanied would fit as she seems unacquainted with range, dynamic or otherwise. I have only just become aware of the lady and I gather she has issues. I can't imagine these would get in the way of her budding career as a funeral singer. Or at least I hope not.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Oh don't be such an old misery, Bryan.
ReplyDeleteWonderful, gorgeous Cheryl's only issue is being married to Ashley Cole, arguably the least likeable man in Britain.
Although her single's rubbish, I'll grant you.
'Only just become aware of the lady', Mr Chief Cultural Critic?
ReplyDeleteShe was Top WAG in the last football disaster, been on the front of every single weekly trash mag for at least 5 years, overcame the handicap of having zero singing talent to have about a zillion number one hits with Girls Aloud (a pop group, m'lud), role model for every single teenage girl in the country and appears in the most popular show on TV and your paper was using her interview to flog papers in TV ads the other week.
"No, the Beatles, m'lud. They're a popular music group."
Bryan's ways are not our ways, Brit.
ReplyDeleteHe clearly doesn't have a teenage daughter who thinks that there is no question that cannot be answered by channelling one's inner Cheryl and who therefore forces one to be conversant with the phenomenon. What bliss it must be to sit at the Appleyard dining table.
Cheryl Cole and all these ads for Domino's Pizza... I feel like I've just tuned into ITV on a Saturday night.
ReplyDeleteTraditional music for a send off is so last year. Mine will be accompanied by the dulcet tones of that Kraut on a cement mixer. Or Einstein on the Beach, then truly they can say he is as monotonous in death as he was in life.
ReplyDeleteJust been informed that the melodious Cheryl is a Geordie, all is revealed.
I'm afraid I'm a bit of a traditionalist rube. I'd call for Brokedown Palace, 'cause that's the message I'd want left to my family and friends. Fair you well, fair you well/ I love you more than words can tell.
ReplyDeleteBrokedown Palace! Kynefski, you are my man. But what about Ripple from the same album?
ReplyDeleteI'm torn between Tallis' O Nata Lux De Lumine & Bonzo Dog's Jazz ... Delicious Hot, Disgusting Cold. Perhaps I'll have both, then I could really go from the sublime to the ridiculous. Sums up life quite neatly I feel.
ReplyDelete