Friday, November 03, 2006
Ulster: Sentimentality, Violence and Cynicism
The last time I was in Ulster I was covering George Best's funeral. I wrote a slightly bleak piece - it was, after all, a bleak event, suffused with political cynicism. Subsequently I was asked to appear on BBC Radio Belfast to respond to calls for my sacking. I was baffled, nobody in England thought there was anything remotely objectionable about my piece. It was a phone-in show and the first caller, evidently drunk at 9 am, said he was going to come to London and shove my teeth so far down my throat that I would have 'to clean them with a bog brush'. Subsequent callers were equally deranged. Only a couple had the wit to defend me by pointing out I had written no more than the obvious truth. One snivelling politician - 'Sir' Reg Empey - appeared and agreed with the drunks. It was a picture of Ulster in a nutshell, a malign combination of sentimentality, violence and profoundly cynical politicians. All of which is a preamble to this. We are, apparently, planning to give Ulster a special payment of £50 billion over the next ten years if they settle down and agree to a proper, democratic government. That's £25,000 for every man woman and child. In England, Scotland and Wales, we have settled down, but we get nothing. We should, of course, save the money by giving the place to Eire, but they don't want it either.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Bryan, I would like to repond to your comments on Ulster but I'm afraid I don't have nearly enough time to do so adequately. I think you may be portraying the people of Ulster in an unduly negative light. The vast majority of my fellow Irishmen and Irishwomen, north and south, are no more sentimental (of the malign sort or otherwise) or violent by nature than any other race. And the politicians, although infuriatingly cynical and bigotted to a large extent, are the product of a past that your politicians did most to ensure was thoroughly appalling in every way. If the British government is giving this money to encourage peace and reconciliation by stimulating business investment and general prosperity then it is not something you should be whinging about. You have made your bed... I should also add, for the record, that as a Dubliner, I have deep dislike of all the political, paramilitary, and religious bigots who have tried to thwart the efforts of right-thinking, peaceful people to repair the damage to society in that part of my homeland.
ReplyDeleteProper, democratic government!? ...Pah!
ReplyDeleteI would agree to settle down for twenty five thousand pounds. In fact, I'd settle down for half that.
ReplyDeleteActually, I think the government is on to something here, and they should extend the scheme to the rest of the country. If grants replaced ASBOs, we'd certainly get a better standard of lout.
And they are putting George Best on a £5 (or is it £50?) note as well. What's gong on here? He was a drunk footballer. (I'm allowed to say that as I was born in Manchester and saw him play at Man U.)
ReplyDeleteAll the practice that the politico's in Northern Ireland have had in extortion they are clearly putting to good use.
ReplyDeleteOld habits die hard.
Maxine, George Best wasn't a drunk footballer. That is unfair and inaccurate. He was a drunken celebrity, perhaps. In fact, George Best was a superb footballer in his heyday. Of course, he was also an alcoholic. Nobody can deny that. But that was something that had little bearing on the quality of his footwork. I don't think he was quaffing gin and tonics in the dressingroom. I also don't think that anyone who saw him play in his prime could accuse him of being drunk at the time. He certainly got drunk after games. He may also have missed a few matches here and there. And were it not for his alcoholism, he may not have retired so early.
ReplyDeleteFootballers of the calibre of George Best don't come along too often. Have some respect. And as for you having been born in Manchester, I can't see how that is of any relevance whatsoever.
Quite right Neil Forsyth, why Maxine having seen Best play or having been born in Manchester is of the slightest relevance escapes me.
ReplyDeleteI expect higher standards of argument from the correspondents on this blog.
Agree with your thesis. The last time I was in Ulster, I enjoyed a fine ale with a very friendly landlord in Cook[s?]town and two hours later, that pub was blown up. Then I drove to Newry but they'd blown that up three hours earlier. Then I came off the main drag to the ferry at the wrong point and found myself in a catholic area in Belfast in a Mini with British reg. Charming place, Ulster.
ReplyDeleteI am part Irish and I will never forget my uncle's description of his first job in Belfast. The factory had seperate entrances for Protestant and Catholic, and the factory floor was divided by a chain-link fence.
ReplyDeleteMuch as I hate saying anything complimentary about our dear Prime Minister, I think he deserves some credit for bringing the peace process this far.
One interesting titbit of information, Bryan, regarding the mentality of at least some sector of the population up north. I can't pretend to have seen it in a while so maybe things have changed, but weather forecasts on BBC Northern Ireland used to show an island of the six counties and Britain to the east. The rest of Ireland had mysteriously disappeared.......perhaps a prophecy of the results of global warming and rising sea levels, who knows. Or perhaps a deranged and infantile mindset of epic levels of parochialism. Not trying to tar all with the same brush though, but in the world of consciousness it does appear to be rather a depressing node.
ReplyDeleteYou're probably wondering, Bryan, why I haven't managed to stray completely from the point in this thread. Well here I go. Collected my Borges Labyrinths order from the local bookshop earlier(no, not from Amazon!) and just from a few pages of the introduction it certainly looks like my cup of tea. Thanks for the recommendation.
ReplyDeleteHaving just read some of the above comments, I apologise for lowering the tone of this blog. Inadvertently. I obviously don't know enough about footballing or drunkenness compared with the experts. I'll retire and make the tea.
ReplyDeleteMaxine, I'm with you.
ReplyDeleteBryan
ReplyDeleteas on a lot of topics you appear to have let prejudice overcome the facts. The £50billion 'buy off' was exposed within a matter of hours as being nothing more than new Labour spin. Even Peter Hain was reduced to admitting that the new element of this package amounts to a couple of £billion, over ten years and that money only comes from us being allowed to keep the proceeds of public assets. We are as suspectible over here to new Labour spin as you guys. As an Ulsterman (an Irishman too but that may be a whole other thread), i do resent the description of Ulster i a nutshell. I and my peers are no combination of sentimentality, violence and cynicism.
I care more about a Bruce Springsteen concert ticket than i do about a St Andrew's deal or 'peace dividend'. REal life goes on over here, thankfully, it always has.
Brendan,
ReplyDeleteI don't see why the fact that it was spin changes anything. The fact is that this was conceived as a political gesture is the point. It's incomprehensible of course since it would only have the effect of alienating all but 2 million of the electorate. I accept what you say about my feelings about Ulster. They ARE jaundiced by my experiences - not just the George Best funeral, which was disgusting - and I fully accept the existence of rsal life beyond the misery and stupidity I have experienced. But, fundamentally, it is still a place that need to get its act toegther in so many ways and to eject the poison that is still in its system.
well the point i am making is that it wasnt our spin. it was their spin - we didnt seek it or even accept it. You thought so much of the spun story to write "We are, apparently, planning to give Ulster a special payment of £50 billion over the next ten years if they settle down and agree to a proper, democratic government."
ReplyDeleteknow what? i live here and love doing so. My 'act' is just fine and i dont think i need to get it together any more than it is. thanks for asking.