Monday, July 06, 2009

Brooklyn versus Mirka

Having discovered to my horror that I was not required for the Stiffkey cricket team - I blame my 'I Hate People' tee-shirt, it is very controversial - I watched Federer versus Roddick with judicious indifference. People seem to be very fond of Roddick's 'aw shucks' manner and in awe of Federer's, well, Swissness, and certainly the combination of the two should have made for an engaging human drama, but, for me at least, it didn't. The wives provided the best action. Roddick, apparently, selected his, Brooklyn Decker, from Sports Illustrated. Is this touching or a cold douche applied to the human warmth attributed to the man? Not sure. Brooklyn doesn't look, as it were, approachable. Federer's wife, Mirka Vavrinec, meanwhile, is pregnant and has gone all matronly and overwrought. I don't think Brooklyn and Mirka had much contact - apart from pulling each other's hair and spitting of course. For some reason they didn't show this on television.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 6:13 am

9 comments:

  1. Ian russellJuly 06, 2009 8:09 am

    we know where you live. unusual name, what's it mean? I'm afraid I couldn't pick those two out in a line-up, never mind their wives...

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  2. BritJuly 06, 2009 8:29 am

    An 'I Hate People' T-shirt, a tweed waistcoat and cowboy boots. What do you call this ground-breaking style? HackPunk... Mild-West Misanthrope? How about Crabby-Cowboy Chic?

    Although it went on even longer, the final was nowhere near as epic as last year.

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  3. James HighamJuly 06, 2009 12:22 pm

    Are you a batsman or a bowler, Bryan?

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  4. John HalliwellJuly 06, 2009 1:49 pm

    I see Bryan as a slow right hand bowler: leg break, off break, flipper, doosra, quicker ball; prepared to suddenly switch to left-hand round the wicket during his run-up and bowl a chinaman; full of guile and cheek, all accompanied by constant sledging and an irritating grumpiness. (Stiffkey selectors have had enough: "He's brilliant but his behaviour is increasingly eccentric)

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  5. BritJuly 06, 2009 2:02 pm

    That's an interesting theory, Johntyh, because, in my eyes, Bryan's world-weary neuroses, existential terrors and gloomy eschatological preoccupations all clearly mark him out as an opening batsman.

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  6. AnonymousJuly 06, 2009 2:59 pm

    Perhaps Brooklyn Decker isn't actually a woman but merely an artefact akin to the Black & Decker Heavy Duty Saw Drill.

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  7. John HalliwellJuly 06, 2009 4:32 pm

    Not sure, Brit. The patience of old, when he was prepared to occupy the crease for hours, or was it days - a'la Boycott - is long gone. I think we should content ourselves with fond memories of the slow build of a mighty innings, and now glory in the flashes of devastating warnesque bamboozlery

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  8. Michael SmithJuly 06, 2009 9:52 pm

    I knew a girl in Croydon once. Only the once alas, but she was good at tennis.

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  9. AnonymousSeptember 03, 2009 8:56 am

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    ReplyDelete

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