Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Stalled Chaucer

One of the geniuses (Roland White) at The Sunday Times, who was partly responsible for the burgeoning George & Lynne cult, now draws this to my attention. James McIntyre, the Chaucer of Cheese, is plainly Canada's McGonagall. The web site unkindly calls him Canada's worst poet - quite a claim. I was going to bring you a fragment of one of his cheese odes, but the web site has stalled.


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  2. Bloody hell!

    He makes McGonagall read like Dylan Thomas. I particularly admired his 'Ode to a Mammoth Cheese':

    "All gaily dressed soon you'll go
    To the great Provincial show,
    To be admired by many a beau
    In the city of Toronto."


    Now how is this for a headline on the BBC News site?

    'Fiji freemasons held for sorcery'

  3. Ah yes, the world's finest cheese poet. McGonagall is the king, but the holy trinity of great bad poets is completed by Julia A Moore.

    The great Chicago Fire, friends,
    Will never be forgot;
    In the history of Chicago
    It will remain a darken spot.
    It was a dreadful horrid sight
    To see that City in flames;
    But no human aid could save it,
    For all skill was tried in vain.

  4. It’s easy to mock the lack of sophistication of poets of an earlier age but cheese, being a dairy product, is one of the most seductive foods. I remember penning these lines in North Africa, when my then partner introduced me to a Libyan blue.

    We lay there, my love and I,
    Caressed by the summer’s breeze,
    Our skins moist, his troubled thigh
    Mottled by moles of cheese.

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