Thursday, November 20, 2008
He's Back
Right, you bastards, I'm back and it's no more Mr Nice Guy Brit. Thanks to him for keeping the blog warm and alarmingly well-visited. I have been in a faraway country of which we know little. I was relieved to hear that Obama had won - McCain/Palin would have meant a further decline in US power and that scares me - but it's a bit late to talk about that. I return to find John Sergeant has pulled out of Strictly Come Dancing. This is obviously a disgrace of the first order but I have no idea what it means. Also, in these dark times, we must remember two of life's great consolations: the spectacle of powerful men utterly failing to understand their moment in history and the incompetence of public relations executives. Both come together beautifully in this story. And don't get me started on Russell Brand. God, it's great to be back, blogging and profoundly misanthropic.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Hello again, Bryan. Nothing like a bit of bile to get the morning off to a good start - none of your American cheeriness here, thank you. A tail-gating bus driver was on the receiving end of my misanthropy this morning and God it felt good.
ReplyDeleteAre you going to fill us in on what you did on your hols?
From your address to the troops it would appear you've settled into Phase 12 of blogging, where the blogger has come to regard his audience with a mixture of loathing, dread, excitement, curiosity, hatred, and strange & possibly pathological affection. The blogger, as it were, regards his audience as so many hundred cats sitting outside his house staring at him and miaowing petulantly, and indeed breeding so that tomorrow there will be thousands of them.
ReplyDeleteAt this stage the blogger accepts that the whole sorry blogging business will end in Old Testament woe & tribulation & filthy curses, and the wish that we were a wizard so he could smite his commentators long distance with sorcery; however, he continues to blog because he realises that this is, in fact, the state of human existence in general and that the most one can hope for is the occasional flash of lopsided merriment amidst the burning ruins and bloodspattered chaos and the wailing of cats and the rending of garments and the tattered remnants of dignity & meaning & purpose blown apart by the icy blast of the endless miseries specially entailing to the days of men.
It's a Top Gun kind of thing.
Ah there you are - welcome back - keep the bile flowing...
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious, elberry. And knowing Bryan's disposition on all things feline he should see this and quake:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article5195172.ece
So good to see you back, Bryan, and like a modern day Swift, you must get back to encouraging us to eat our babies or whatever passes for the outrageous these days. Only you are equipped to see the wood for the trees and you have already spotted the most important issue of the day. Is it just me but does John Sergeant look like Jo Brand after a couple of stiff drinks? And does anybody think that John Sergeant looks quite attractive after a couple of stiff drinks? I think there’s definitely a ‘come hither’ look in his eyes when he does the foxtrot but I might just be drinking too many stiff drinks. Still, in the immortal words of Brucie: nice to see you Bryan, to see you nice. And you can consider this comment to be a ‘come hither’ look in my eyes. Nige knows what I'm talking about.
ReplyDeleteBringback the philanthrope! Great link to the Motor City idiots though. You'd have thought, given the industry's plight, they'd have driven there in bright red cadillac or a shiny lincoln or something. A let them eat cake moment - I rather fancy there will be many more to come. Can't wait for the mob to get angry as more of our over-rated executive class come to resemble Field Marshal von Paulus.
ReplyDeleteI rather fancy the BBC's bloated bureaucrats coming up to the front of the firing line pretty soon.
Welcome back. Yes, ever the gentleman, John Sergeant managed to pull out in time. I'm sure he'd make a better boss of Chrysler than the present dismal crew, too. People might start to like their cars for a start. And there'd be be no more moaning about corporate jets. Folks would expect Mr Sergeant to arrive with some razzmatazz.
ReplyDeleteoh, have you been away?
ReplyDeletethanks for The Peregrine recommendation. Finally got around to it and it is indeed v. good. I'm reading two days at a time until I catch up with the date, then I'll continue reading it on the appropriate date. no point in rushing something this good, is there - where's the zen in that?!
Meow! And welcome back, of course....
ReplyDelete