Thursday, December 03, 2009

Tiger Woods and PZM

Leaving aside the stark horror of the fact that he was driving a Cadillac Escalade, the curious case of Tiger Woods, that pesky fire hydrant and the golf clubs is all about his moral status. I don't mean vis-a-vis his family etc, I mean with regard to his sponsors. However, help may be at hand. I suppose adultery is a consumer good and worthy of promotion. Perhaps if Tiger also issued a statement saying that science was a world view and not a method, he could get P.Z. Myers' amiable physog on the covers of his drivers.


  1. Hey, Bryan, go back and try that one again. Your attachment to Mr. Myers is beginning to seem a bit weird. As to Mr. Woods, he is learning that something really is expected for all that endorsement money: His service as tragic entertainment should the opportunity arise.

  2. I disagree with kynefski - there's plenty more mileage in PeeZee yet. And the good thing is that he WILL respond at length and in depth to any baiting.

    As for an adultery website - who knew? A website for people who want adultery for its own sake (as opposed to just, you know, boring old sex).

  3. Your insults have evolved to a level of irreducible complexity.

  4. Sensible move on the part of the advertisers as all golfers are adulterous.
    They are also a bunch of blue blazer bedecked tossers who mostly look like Myers, the men mainly look like Capt Mainwaring, or AA Gill and are lawyers.
    They seem to speak a Scandinavian form of Klingon and have rules such as 'no baseball caps in the clubhouse, or women'
    They spend most of their waking hours desperately looking for prominent parking places in city centres, allowing them to be seen exiting from their bottom of the range metalware from Munich, Stuttgart or Ingolstadt.

    They are truly Gods revenge upon us all.

  5. What I find astonishing about this whole Tiger Woods scandal is that it's not made the world's most boring sportsman any less boring.

  6. Borg had the decency to keep his boringness to himself. He didn't insist on being on every TV channel trying to convince us to buy his sponsor's crap. In fact, if you avoided tennis you could avoid his face altogether.

  7. No, Borg was Swedish, looked like Christ, used a wooden racket, and wasn't so wedded to the materialism of the world he inhabited. He was the T-800 Terminator – without much personality, certainly, but carrying himself with a certain swagger. Tiger Woods is the T1000: the liquid chrome shape-shifter betraying no emotion. He is everywhere and nowhere, selling razors one moment, cars or computer games the next.

    I utterly despise that Gillette ad where he's 'with' Henry and Federer (my other pet hate in modern sport). Clearly, at no point did the three of them actually come together to share that totally fake camaraderie. In the latest version, Federer clearly couldn't be bothered to turn up to the studio so he's represented by a computer model.

    Speaking of which, I'm no golf fan but the Tiger Woods games are reviled as the most brazen example of the industry machine exploiting a fickle audience. Electronic Arts are currently sacking hundreds of programmers, working for smaller studios making imaginative, genre breaking titles. However, we can be sure that yet another bland Tiger Woods cash cow is led into the field next year. We can also be sure of Tiger's banal gawping grin filling our screens as he phones in his lines from the 'back nine', or whatever they call the local motel these days.

    In fact, forget that Terminator analogy. It makes Tiger sound far too interesting. I have a better one.

    Tiger Woods is Crusty the Clown... Just without the liable personality.

  8. Paul Zachary "random ejaculations from a godless liberal" Myers is terrified of a public confrontation with me and my sources. He is the most disgusting human being that ever contaminated cyberspace with his pathological venom directed against any human being or institution that does not share his atheist view of the world in which he finds himself. Unlike Richard Dawkins, a civilized egomaniac, Myers will be remembered as nothing but a nasty little footnote in the history of evolutionary science.

  9. Don't let Paul Zachary Myers benign countenance fool you. He is the nastiest human being that ever lived, sparing no human being or institution that dares to believe in any aspect of the Judeo-Christian ethic upon which Western Civilization is so firmly based.

    One of my proudest achievements was to become a charter member of his "dungeon," his "hate file."
    Poke the "dungeon" button on his opening page and there you will find me being accused, among other things, of "wanking," a word I was not familiar with but discovered was a synonym for masturbation.

    What makes this especially revealing is the way Myers introduces himself on Pharyngula with each daily edition of hatespeech -

    "Random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal."

    I thought all ejaculations were biological, but random too? What a mess.