Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Ronaldo Meets Watt (What?)

The distracted non-performance of Brazil's bald, fat striker against Croatia suggests that he may have been talking to England's "motivational guru" Watt (What?) Nicoll (see below Wayne Rooney etc). As I said, Watt's favourite question is, "Do you want to be a winner, a champion, a hero or a legend?" This is enough to paralyse the most stable mind, but the effect on poor, moody Ronaldo has plainly been devastating. This, after all, is a footballer who appears to buy his haircuts on eBay. But who is this Watt? Well, he seems to be an MP, though this turns out to mean Motivated Person, as one might have expected. But this seems to be the man. He has a beard, wears big bow ties and seems to know Hillary Clinton. I rest my case.


  1. Oh and Watt thinks "that those who do not live on the edge are taking up too much space." He also seems to be handled by something called the Norman Phillips Organisation whose motto is "Our success us your total satisfaction." Who are these people and why?

  2. Lots of issues here.

    '... those who do not live on the edge are taking up too much space ...' ??

    This sort of thinking leads to the gas chambers. Resist now before you are wasted!

    I suspect he wouldn't want us all at the edge anyway - a little clear water between us and him (it would be a bit crowded anyway). If we were all at the edge, would it be the edge anymore? If the not-edgers were wasted, who would cook the burgers his waistline suggests (or maybe he's bought one of your artificial beer bellies (you didn't mention the pleasure extender (I love these nested parentheses)) off ebay. Yes as previously suggested, all roads lead to ebay (but tired of ebay, tired of life? Simple test - advertise it on ebay - if no takers then truly it is a universal condition, else just local accidie and a remedy is probably in your in-box now!))

  3. Deep waters, David (and many parentheses). We could offer a (fake) bow tie of Watt's (What's?) on ebay and see what happened (or didn't).