Tuesday, January 23, 2007
How Not to Write 'By' Blair
In haste again, I'm afraid. But I would like to note this. It is a blah-blah-blah-blah, yadda-yadda-yadda piece 'by' Tony Blair about the Olympic Games in London, justified by the rather obscure fact that today it is 2,012 days to the start of the games in 2012. Geddit? Obviously it is not 'by' Tony Blair at all. Nevertheless it is an interesting study in political prose. It is insanely, deliriously, hilariously badly written. It should be taught in schools as a lesson in how not to write English prose. Anyway, as I said, in haste.....
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Is there a chance the world might end in 2,012 if the Olympics of that year are not a success? Is that what Mr Blair (or the chap on work experience?) is saying?
ReplyDeleteSums up NuLab really...all bullshit,spin and downright distortions. The comment by Mark Green is hilarious. Obviously Broadmoor has internet access.
ReplyDeleteI wish I hadn't looked at this link, Bryan. It is, as you rightly point out, unbelievable bilge. The person who wrote it should be made to stand in the middle of the room and be publicly humiliated. The problem is, as I read it, I can hear Blair's tremulous voice and see his earnest, shiny face. Yeeurghhh....
ReplyDeleteMmm? Blunt!
ReplyDeleteI dunno. I thought it was wonderful. In fact I feel a glow of benevolence towards all creatures and to Tony Blair in particular, coursing through my semi-hardened veins. If only all politicians could be like Tony. Though that's not quite going far enough, is it? If only all mankind could be like this beautiful man. If only I was British. I'd write more if I could but I think I'm going to swoon.
ReplyDeleteI dimly recall a short book by the Dresden philologist Victor Klemperer called Lingua Tertii Imperii. Someone should write a short book about New Labour and language. You've got some spare capacity now Appleyard. 'Doom-mongers' ? Blair means people with legitimate criticisms of how this will go wildly over-budget. Then there is 'narrative', 'process', 'back-story'. Oh I think I'll just get back under the duvet where it is so very dark.
ReplyDeleteI am bemused. Are Blair's staff now so busy preparing to be questioned by the police that they allowed someone doing work experience to draft this bizarre, pointless message? Adrian Mole perhaps?
ReplyDeleteMaybe he wrote it himself for once.
ReplyDelete"Everything leads to, and culminates in, a glorious festival of sport for Olympians and Paralympians."
ReplyDelete"Everything"? Really?
Life hardly seems worthwhile if everything is spiralling inevitably towards a festival of sport, no matter how glorious.
What noone seems to have noticed is Blair merely paraphrased Hitler's famous article in the Zeitgeist Gazette 1936 days prior to the Berlin Olympics of 1936.
ReplyDelete"Everything leads to, and culminates in, a glorious festival of sport in which the world will prostrate itself in awe before the majesty of our Aryan race", was the original line.
He's wasting his breath. In yet another obvious parallel, we haven't got 2012 days. While western civilisation again collapses under its own indulgence, the new barbarians are at the gates - only 1000 days to go according to Benjamin Netanyahu this morning. All that is left is bread and circuses. The circus will be too late. The bread is running out as world corn and maize production is diverted to bioethanol production - tortilla shortages already in Mexico.
ReplyDelete