Thursday, November 01, 2007
Halloween Must Be Stopped
Does anybody, in this country, actually want Halloween? Last night I saw grim-faced mothers marching along the road with brats wrapped in sheets crudely marked with felt-tips. This is an American show. We don't like it, we never used to do it and we don't have to now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Mothers with kids ?, in Notting Hill ?. Now really.
ReplyDeletewe've always had hallowe'en. it's trick or treating that's new. I think it had something to do with the demise of begging pennies for the guy - we're all so much more middle-class now....
ReplyDeleteYummy mummies - they're everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI was one of them although my little one was wearing a handmade costume stitched by moi. Ha! We had a blast. The neighbors...not so much.
ReplyDeleteHandmade costume! V Westbourne Grove.
ReplyDeleteGive me another year in the UK and maybe I'll have another clue what you mean by Westbourne Grove. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid you have no choice but to submit, Bryan.
ReplyDeleteWe will fight on the beaches, Frank.
ReplyDeleteGood for you hsien lei. The lack of handmade costumes (or black refuse sacks, to be more precise) is the one glaring difference between Halloween now and the Halloween of my childhood. I brought Spiderman and (a reluctant)lion on the rounds last night. I'm ashamed to say I got the costumes in M&S. Nevertheless, they had a great time and I had a great time watching them have a great time. My 2-year old has a nut allergy so I had to be a vigilant(e) presence on the door steps. As it happened, there a was a distinct lack of fruit and nuts being doled out. I reckon if any kid had been given an apple and a handful of nuts he wouldn't have known what to do with them. The expectation was for chocolate and other dubious-looking confections. Needless to say, I confiscated most of the rubbish when we got home and cleaned all of their teeth individually with Ciff.
ReplyDeleteNot the same as my experience. In fact my street in Deepest Hackney - directly off what the press likes to all "Murder Mile" - has rarely felt so safe or neighbourly as it did last night. And, by the way, don't call children "brats" or I'll set my lot on you. You'd be sorry.
ReplyDeleteNeil, I can see you're a British trick-or-treating novice. Must be careful of real fruits and nuts in case a psychopath embeds razor blades and needles in them. And that is your Halloween tip of the year from someone who grew up on REAL Halloweens in America.
ReplyDeleteThis is all very well, but soon we shall be reduced to just two, maybe three post-religious festivals - one celebrating grotesque consumer excess (Xmas), one celebrating chocolate (Easter) and one (Halloween) celebrating - well, what exactly?
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it rat poison, razor blades, and needles can on any type of Halloween treat giveaway. Oh well. Trick or treat away! Just avoid candy from the crazy guy in the windowless house on the corner. Fear is all part of the fun, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't really matter, Nige. None of them have ever had any concrete meaning or significance for those who enjoy them most - the nippers. Children can handle meaninglessness much better than we can.
ReplyDeleteI received an amusing e-mail from an English friend of mine yesterday. He wrote:
ReplyDelete"These kids don't want candy, they only want cash. Hallowe/en celebrations are a recent American import here - and our lot don't really get it. If they are not sufficiently gruntled, their tricks usually comprise of pulling up plants, scratching cars, smashing milk bottles, weeing on the porch or setting fire to the cat. Bah."
Happy to say our American kids aren't so thuggish. My son went off in old black suit, whitened face and dusty hair and made quite a handsome zombie. He came back with his posse of friends in the course of the night, including three gorgeous girls: One dressed as Marcel Marceau, one as a pirate, and one I couldn't figure out: She had on a striped shirt and skirt and didn't seem to be costumed as anything. "What are you?" I asked. "A rainbow," she answered languidly. Well, what can you say? Worth a few butterfingers and Reese's peanut butter cups.
That email from your English friend, Susan, explains why one of the women who opened her door last night looked so frightened. She tossed two pound coins at our group of 10 kids and shut the door as quickly as she could.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived in darkest Stoke Newington one year we had some particularly challenging small children demanding chocolate with menaces on Hallowe'en. I gave them chocolate and money but all to no avail. I had obviously missed the concealed bolt cutters: my husband's brand new motorscooter was stolen that same evening and later found in the bottom of the pond in Clissold Park. What larks!
ReplyDeleteAmerican cultural imperialism, intended or not, does have an even darker side to its darker side. Next thing you know, people will be demanding the Royal Standard be flown at half-mast when someone of note dies. Oh, wait...
ReplyDeletei was once ambushed by a posse of youthful ne'er-do-wells on Halloween outside my house, they demanded expiatory tributes. i raised my hands and boomed "bless you, my children!" and advanced on them, Judge Holden-like.
ReplyDeleteThey fled into the night, shrieking. Their mothers had warned them about men like me, though in all fairness i was only going to kick them a few times, not actually kill or mutilate them.