The Sven-Tone Future

Thought Experiments can now confidently and exclusively reveal that Arsene Wenger is going for the job of England manager. I know this because, since Wednesday's national humiliation, his French accent has thickened to the point where he is almost as incomprehensible as Alex Ferguson. This is a further example of Wenger's tactical genius. After Steve McClaren, nobody wants the manager of the worst football team in the world to sound English. The great Sven, meanwhile, is defiantly going in the opposite direction - I can definitely hear the beginnings of a Mancunian intrusion. This may be a double bluff. With Brown looking increasingly like the Steve McClaren of British politics, the strange Swede may be planning a future in which he goes back to the England team and Tone goes back to Downing Street. As Joni Mitchell so wisely sang, you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.