A Model World

The financial world has been rocked for only the forty-second time this week by the news that supermodel and fervent fan of St Thomas Aquinas, Gisele Bundchen, refuses to be paid in declining dollars. 'I will no longer,' she said in a thick Brazilian accent,'be as stupid as those dumb-ass Columbian drug cartels and allow myself to be defrauded by the Federal Reserve.' Stung by her remarks, the chairman of the Fed, Heidegger-reading Naomi Campbell, said Gisele was all botox and bullshit and the American economy was on course to invade Iran. In London the Chancellor, Kate Moss, said consumer spending on her Top Shop line of affordable high fashion clothes making the 'London Look' available to all fans of The X-Factor no matter how obese would protect the UK economy from the tightening in the money markets. Meanwhile, Sophie Dahl, chairman of BP, said that now was the time, with the oil price approaching $100, to unveil their Gucci-designed barrels. 'This is a premium product,' she said, 'and we need to put it out of reach of those Top Shop slappers."