Friday, July 18, 2008
Living the Dream
This woman is an inspiration to us all. She is living as Oprah for one year. I am torn between living as the sublime Richard Madeley or sinking into the dark heart of Elberry.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
I met a womoan last night who told me she had stopped taking antidepressants after many, many years. She said she felt like a different person, but not in a good way. The person she thought she was for the last twenty years seems unreal to her now. It's as if she has awoken from a dream, a rather pleasant dream, and discovered somebody else entirely had been dreaming the dream - in this case, her old self. Suffice to say, she is not coping very well. She is very confused, poor woman.
ReplyDeleteI wonder could Oprah help her?
Why not pop over and we'll swap lives for a while? i bet you can type fast and i'm sure you'd find being surrounded by pretty young physiotherapist ladies stimulating. You can spend all day blogging (as i do), decorate the office however you like (i have a canto of Dante on the wall, you might like Ashbery), and eat as many ring doughnuts & flapjacks as you will, all day long. You just have to do a couple of hours' hard typing a day to keep up with the workload.
ReplyDeleteOh, and you're also an apprentice in the rune work so if you stick with it you'll eventually be able to, like, cast spells and stuff to blow up your enemies and turn people into frogs. Though you have to be careful about the frog thing, it's quite easy to get it wrong and do it to yourself by mistake.
For my part, as Appleberry, i shall seek out celebrity interviews with beautiful women and keep groping them accidentally on purpose, then write a simple article: "I can't remember anything about what Ms X said, I was too busy frotting her" that will be hailed as some kind of post-modern statement/artwork.
I like Appleberry. He would be like an Anthony Burgess character.
ReplyDeleteMisanthropic but sentimental, out-of-step with his generation and the next, slightly more sad than angry, prone to inspired bursts of crazed poetry, uncannily in tune with the zeitgeist but confused about what day it is....
I would like to know what it's like to be Appleberry, but sadly, I can only imagine what it would be like for me to be Appleberry.
ReplyDeleteI guess it's often easier being what one imagines someone else to be than it is being oneself. Not sure whether this is about that or simply swapping lives for a while, like Wife Swap on the TV. Except this is a kind of Failed Intellectural Swap. My anguish for your angst. Throw in a pair of bespoke cowboy boots and you can have my consolation too. I'll up you a tub of Haagen Dazs if I can have your Arthurian fantasies. Etc. It all sounds very Web 2.0.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to be me. Ain't that weird? Gotta be an American thing.
ReplyDeleteNot really, Susan, you are awfully good at Scrabble, after all.
ReplyDeleteI know, such a pointless talent, isn't it? But I love those crosswords. And, as with anything, if you do it all the time you get good at it. (Why couldn't it have been chess, where I might have turned my obsession to account, to cash?) Anyway, dear 'Berry, since you mention it, are you going to take your turns soon?
ReplyDeletei can't access Facebook at work and have been busy doing evil wizard stuff since Tuesday, but will return to the fray tonight, my dear, even though i don't have a chance in hell of winning now. It's probably good for me to get my ass kicked by a woman, karmic revenge for my repeated bashing of Feminism elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteYou should definitely go the Elberry route, Bryan.
ReplyDeleteMy own imaginative limitations prevent me from playing anybody but myself.
Bryan, humbled as I am by that 'sublime' – I will nail it to my wall even if I did wonder if you were thinking of a different Madeley – I have to ask Mr. Wilson: what's wrong with going the Richard route?
ReplyDeleteI know that Elberry has that dark mysterious nature and he's handy with a switchblade, but I have charm and a musk that's bold yet tolerable. Or is it that age old problem that owls and Bill Oddie masks just aren't as popular as nihilism and Wagnerian porn amongst men of the intellectual caste?
Judy is glowing with pride this evening, Bryan. It's like the Clive James marmalade incident all over again.
Madeley, I'd suggest.
ReplyDelete