2) The BMW X5 was a wondrously pointless and ugly machine. Well, not content with climbing that mountain, BMW has now launched the X6. It is even uglier. In fact, contemplating one on the street yesterday I realised that BMW has discovered that Holy Grail of car designers, the Flying Turd.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Two Horrible Things
1) I had dimly thought that the male fashion for wearing jeans so low that they exposed a significant acreage of underpant had died in 1995 when it was cruelly satirised in Clueless. But this summer in London it's back and I find myself constantly having to avert my eyes from more Gap, Calvin Klein or M & S than seems strictly necessary. The less experienced wearers of this style, I note, have acquired a splay-legged lope to prevent even further exposure.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Do anyone else but Americans buy SUVs?
ReplyDeleteI noticed at the BMW website that the X6 is designated a Sports Activity Vehicle. (SAV?) I can only imagine that this re-categorization was necessary to differentiate the BMW demographic from those working slobs who require utility from their vehicle. What kind of statement would that make?
I've yet to see one of these high-end SUVs traversing anything more rugged than a speed-bump in actual life - no matter that they are climbing the Matterhorn in the commercials.
Aren't all these modern 4x4s intended to be pointless and ugly? "Look at me, I'm a pushy rich bastard" seems to be the main attraction.
ReplyDeleteThey're still very popular around here, though, the bigger the better. Their pointless and ugly owners cause jams on the road where I live every Saturday, as they prepare to barge and trample their way down the food aisles in Marks & Spencer. I'm thinking Russian anti-tank mines may be the only answer in the Cotswolds.
While I thoroughly agree that the low-slung jeans phenomenon is lamentable it is only one among many fashion trends that beggars belief and makes one wonder how those who embrace them could actually believe that their appearance is improved as a result. I don't know what it's like in Britain, but here in Dublin, among certain socioeconomic groups, it has become de rigueur for young women to wear their pyjammas during daylight hours while out and about. And not fancy pyjamas. No. Just your run-of-the-mill, common-or-garden, Weetabix-stains-down-the-front, M&S types. Truly shocking!
ReplyDeleteThe consensus of opin1on some years ago among the automotive designers was that the X5 was sculpted from a pat of butter to look like a dogs turd. Male Bum exhibiting has just come into fashion north of the border.
ReplyDeleteI can't get too worked up about SUVs. If people want to spend £150 every time they fill up their tank, more fool them. Me, I drive around in an old Mazda pick-up with HUGE dents in it. It makes the other mummies in the school car-park with their shiny behemoths quite nervous.
ReplyDelete"Look at me, I'm a pushy rich bastard" seems to be the main attraction.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about "bastard." Most of the large SUV drivers I see are women. YMMV, I guess.
Okay, socioeconomic fact: Most drivers of Hummers and Escalades in the Philly area are black guys in their 30s. Expensive and aggressive cars -- I hate the suckers, esp. when they cut me off on my way to work.
ReplyDeleteAs for the low-slung pants -- it seems all to be about crevices.
ReplyDeleteThe girls look like lap dancers and the boys like plumbers. Declivities.
Agreeing with Randy, contra Mark, most SUV drivers are female.
ReplyDeleteMaybe some research is needed -- why do so many petite attractive women drive big ugly cars?
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ReplyDeleteDon't be fooled. Once out of the SUV, these "women" can rack the slide on a magnum shopping trolley with the best of them.
ReplyDeleteIf you ride a bike, which I do, and find yourself in need of an SUV repellent, the ne plus ultra is the Stebel Nautilus Compact Dual-Tone 12-Volt Motorcycle Air Horn, said to be louder than a jumbo jet on take-off and very reasonably priced for 139 decibels of pure energy. A quick parp! as you near the driver's door should do the trick. One user reported that the driver was so shocked their mobile phone and a fag flew out the window.