Sunday, December 14, 2008

Hallelujah it's the X-Factor!

Watching The X-Factor - as I did, I think, for the first time last night - is a wonderful endorsement of the view that failure, misery and loneliness are good for you. There's just too much happiness, not to mention ecstasy, on show. Also I don't like the look of a lot of pumped-up, screaming people in a confined space. I was in such a situation when I sat in on a recording of some Ant & Dec show and, to be frank, it did not smell good. But, of course, the really strange thing about The X-Factor last night was that the two finalists were required to sing Hallelujah - a song about my old friends misery, failure and loneliness decorated with the image of David and Bathsheba. Odd really to see it used/murdered here, but quite funny. Oh and, Iain, Hallelujah is not by Jeff Buckley. It is by Leonard Cohen and it took him a year to write. I think he deserves the attribution.

11 comments:

  1. I was spared the final last night as I was at, of all things, a masked (masque-ed? )ball, which wasn't nearly as bad as it sounds, but I defended X-Factor on your blog when you were hibernating.

    Enjoyed your Near Death piece this morning. I had an out of body experience at about 4am but that was probably due to unwisely mixing white with a very dodgy red.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I preferred opportunity knocks with the clapometer, its just too scientific counting telephone calls for such a subjective issue.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you need to lighten up...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Also I don't like the look of a lot of pumped-up, screaming people in a confined space.

    Yes, mercifully spare us that, please.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This Leonard Cohen/Jeff Buckley confusion bugs the hell out of me every time I come across it. I realize that Buckley's cover is the one that everyone is familiar with but give credit where credit is due, please.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The John Cale version from 'Fragments of a Rainy Season' is my favourite.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I watched the end bit and was struck by the look on the judge's faces - so many furrowed brows, a number of them looked constipated. The hysteria was bizarre - I don't recall Mary Hopkin or Lenny Henry behaving like this when they won their talent contests. Finally, the top two acts were mixed race. If Lewis Hamilton wins tonight it will be a notable double. Are we turning into Brazil but without the weather and the cool music?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I was devastated to learn that one of Cohen's songs was to be murdered on national TV in the name of entertainment. It feels like a line has been crossed. That Beelzebub of the High-Waistband has gone too far this time. I feel violated. Royally violated.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Of course Cohen deserves credit where it's due, but personally I find his delivery akin to a death rattle compared to the delicate beauty of Buckley's version.

    More broadly, it's unlikely I would be aware of the song were it not for the Buckley take. The X-Factor interpretation sounds dreadful to my ears, but it isn't made for me. And I don't think it's a bad thing that more people are exposed to the song in this way: even if its meaning is never considered, it is a beautiful melody in its own right. And that, of course, carries its own meaning.

    And I have to say, that girl really has got a set of lungs on her. The standard of the other finalists was risible, but she's world class - even though she occupies a musical space I rarely lend my ear to.

    I was at the recording of Xmas Top of the Pops earlier and she performed Hallelujah twice, flawlessly, on an hour's sleep.

    In front of me, two teenage girls burst into tears as she began to sing.

    I am a terrible cynic at the best of times, and I know I have been expertly manipulated by ITV throughout, and I will never buy any of her records. But you'd have to have a heart of stone to have followed the show and not be moved by her triumph.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's not real happiness though, is it? It's hysteria. True happiness is the little, cold smile you allow yourself when your enemies lie dead at your feet. All this screaming and jumping about is something else.

    The thing is to become such a powerful avatar of grouchiness that you can effectively suck the fake-happiness out of a room just by being there. Fold your arms and perfect a sour look and perhaps the occasional one-liner, e.g. "well, they certainly seem...enthusiastic about it."

    ReplyDelete
  11. Didn't see it but I imagine it looking like a mass Tasering. That's why I think it ought to be sponsored by Lynx. I was recently forced to accept two free cans of Taser-alternative Lynx Vice. As with the show, one brief zap is enough to know it cannot possibly possess the x factor it promises. And yet both are popular. I'm mystified but obliteration of subtlety must have something to do with it.

    ReplyDelete