Thursday, October 26, 2006

Bryan, Where Are You?

A bizarre site offers to tell me how many people in the United States share my name. None, I assumed. Up come the results - 284,970 called Bryan and 870 called Appleyard. And then - gasp - one called Bryan Appleyard! One! How are you, mate? Who are you? Do we speak the same language? Never mind. Scientists are working on a machine that will make us appear bilingual. I mouth the words, sensors on my head detect what I intend to say and a computer translates it into the rare Sioux dialect which, I like to imagine, is what my new friend, Bryan, speaks. I always did have a soft spot for the Sioux. Troublingly, however, this device makes one's conversation resemble that of a dubbed movie.

12 comments:

  1. One Bryan Appleyard per continent is more than enough. As for that machine making one's conversation resemble a dubbed movie, as long the the movie has a good plot, is well cast and doesn't have a Hollywood ending, then I would happily dash down to Curry's to pick one up.

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  2. Leave me alone.

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  3. It's the 'y' in Bryan that counts. If you have your 'y' in life, you can put up with almost any 'how'.

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  4. Cool site. I'm the only one of me, as I knew I would be. Any person in the U.S. with my last name is a cousin o' mine. And another benighted former Huguenot who survived the Catholic purgings in France long enough to make it to these semi-hospitable shores in the 1700s.

    Now, "Susan," that's a different deal: 25th most popular name in the U.S. S'okay. My high school was filled with Vickies, so I feel I dodged a bullet.

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  5. Only three others with my exact name. I hope the name has served them well. It has done a reasonble job for me. Our name is something we need to look after for future generations I suppose. I have successfully passed the name on to my children without it having been too tarnished by my escapades.

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  6. Well there's not a single one of me - but then Anonymous is a pretty unusual name even here...

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  7. Well well... I have always wondered how many Yanks' shared my name. Answer: '0'. At least i now know! I can now rest my troubled mind. Thank the Lord for the Internet!

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  8. Bryan, I don believe there's something in this thing but I am writing a post right now about Sioux City and you've posted about the Sioux. What are the odds? And today a lady said she wanted to open a cafe/bookshop and this is also what I'm currently working on. Plus why do streetlamps go out when I walk under them and then come on again?

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  9. Because, James, you are a warlock. So am I. Dogs turn and stare at me. But we mustn't let anybody know.

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  10. There are zero Gordon McCabes in the USA. However, I've just discovered that, not only do I have a coat of arms, but I also have a family motto: 'Either conquer or die'.

    http://www.whoswho-online.com/mccabe/personal/heraldry.html

    Sadly, my philosophical training ruins what would otherwise be a principle I could use to good effect in the modern workplace: as a mortal man, I must die, and because the motto takes the form of a logical disjunction in which one disjunct asserts the occurrence of death, the motto as a whole must be true.

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  11. I could only find a "Brian Appleyard" in Bradenton Beach, Florida. There does seem to be a small group of Appleyards living in that area.

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