Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Cameron's Speech: A Considered Response

After some hours deep thought, I have come to the following conclusions about David Cameron's conference speech.
1)As a song, it was considerably worse than Tom Waits' The Heart of Saturday Night but hugely superior to George Michael's Faith.
2)As a car, it far outstripped the Austin Allegro but fell somewhat short of the Ferrari F40.
3)As a human being, it was not up to Abraham Lincoln, but definitely improved on Jeffrey Dahmer.
4)As a country, it left Burma far behind, but could not keep up with Italy.
5)As comedy, it fell far short of The Moustache Brothers, but represented a marked improvement on Ben Elton.
6) As a speech, well, it was a speech.
Steady as she goes then. The truly heartening thing, however, was that he plainly hates his party even more than Blair loathes his. The marginally less ghastly may be yet to come.


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  2. Here is Charlie 'Deep Thought' Whelan's take on the speech. Does anybody pay for this? Oh, its The Guardian, so no.

  3. One day he'll be alone and represent only himself! ...Ah, he already is...!

  4. Tom Waits as PM? At last, a suggestion on a blog I could live with!

    Despite all his talk about sunshine, Cameron's speech left me 'colder than a ticket taker's smile at the Ivar Theatre, on a Saturday night.'

  5. Sounds to me like Small Change, who, as we know, got rained on with his own .38.