Thursday, February 22, 2007

Harry Saves Iraq

Prince Harry is going to Iraq! But, hang on, aren't we supposed to be pulling out? Ah yes, but Blair is looking for a legacy and here it is. We bring the boys home leaving just Harry to patrol the mean streets of Basra. The prince says goodbye to his clubbing boyhood and becomes a man. In an explosive final shootout, he takes on both Sunni and Shia militias in defence of an orphanage. His dying words are, 'Tell mummy I did my best.' Hearing this, the militias fall into each other's arms, vowing never to fight again. 'He was, in a very real sense,' says Blair, 'the people's prince.' As Elton John sings Candle in the Wind, rewritten again, another river of tears floods Westminster Abbey. A dull thumping is heard. It is Gordon Brown banging his head against the door.

7 comments:

  1. Very funny. You do the 'what if' scenarios very well, Bryan. Here's another one: what if Bryan didn't take the money? Hint: think of your soul. Will it make you happy (think of Aristotle)?

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  2. I'm on my way down to Ladbrokes seeing what odds I'll get on this prophecy. How long do you think I should say Candle in the Wind'll make no. 1?

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  3. What a prophecy -- and just what I was thinking (though nowhere near as eloquently or wittily) when I read the news yesterday that the boy was going. If he were the elder son, I doubt if he'd be permitted, however.

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  4. I say full marks to Harry. Being the younger brother of the heir is a thankless role. At least he's doing something other than getting high in Cotswolds pubs.

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  5. Please, do not forget, he is doing it all to get closer to his girlfriend - will be half way to South Africa like this!

    Bryan, you missed this love angle in your scenario. Remember, sex sells.

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  6. What uniform will he be wearing? Will it have room for that Swastika armband?

    Or is that below the belt?

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  7. Gawd you're cynical, but spot on. Very witty. Go to the top of the class!

    Sorry, yer know what I mean 'arry?

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