Monday, October 06, 2008
Mandelson the Food Stalker
My culinary connection with Peter Mandelson is getting out of hand. First, there was that mysterious crab salad. Now I learn he dripped pure poison about Brown into the ear of George Osborne at the Taverna Agni in Corfu. This was in August. I ate several times at that very Taverna in July. (It was very nice though, as in most Greek restaurants, the fish tended to be overcooked, a particularly heinous crime when halibut is involved.) The truth is out: Mandy is a food stalker and I am his latest target.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
as it happens i'm quite an expert on stalking - the only solution is a counter-stalk, to take the battle to your stalker and start turning up at unexpected & inconvenient moments, bombarding him/her with strange and probably deranged & homicidal messages (possibly referring to 'the Lord' and 'Judgement'). It would make quite a good headline: "Mandelson claims TV man Bryan Appleyard is 'obsessed with my food'".
ReplyDeleteWhat we all desperately need to know Bryan, is did Peter ask if he could autograph you cucumber?
ReplyDeleteInteresting. I'm pretty sure there aren't any halibut in the Med or the Aegean. Are you sure it was halibut and not what the locals call "Albanian halibut" which is caught in a net all right but tends to miaow loudly until subdued. Apparently, this taverna even has an internet webcam to occupy the curious. Stalkers are so 1990s, I guess. We are all voyeurs now.
ReplyDeleteExcellent stuff. This is the most intelligent debate about halibut I've read on the web in quite a while.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Mark, I had in mind certain anglo-Greek restaurants in my area. And no cucumber was involved, Mysterious Malty
ReplyDeleteDidn't Claudius drip pure poison into the ear of Hamlet's dad? Maybe it was a Danish restaurant.
ReplyDeleteMesmerising. Clearly this warrants a major inquest from News International executives...
ReplyDelete