Friday, April 24, 2009

My Current Preoccupations

Why does American politeness collapse at airports? Miami International might as well have been staffed by Brits.
Why is the light in Los Angeles so white?
Who makes Lindsay Lohan do these things?
Where did they put the sign for 405 North on Manchester Avenue? I've never got lost in LA before.
Why did I hire a Chevrolet Impala? (Because I had a Dinky toy of one when I was small.)
Do I like Roberto Bolano's The Savage Detectives? ( More to come on this.)
Why are there so many Haitians in Miami and why do they talk so loudly?
Has anybody ever been to downtown LA? If not, what's it for?
What, exactly, does this mean?
When you have core strength, does it make a difference?
WTF? I suppose I should look her up, but I'm not sure I could listen to Sharan Osborne banging on about Heidegger again.
Should people be allowed to eat in swimming pools? Or smoke?
What's the difference between a duck?


  1. WTF indeed. Wake me up when it's all over and she has to deal with the Titanically miserable ex-Prime Minister Gordon. She'll deserve all our sympathy then.

  2. One of its legs is both the same.

  3. know nothing about ducks, or that you can cure a salmon with a beetroot - wonder what was ailing it. being next to those awful looking chips, I expect. they may have talent but they can't do chips!

  4. "Miami International may as well have been"

    Might as well.

  5. #1: Thanks to the Department of Homeland Security and unrelenting government fear-mongering, American airports have become a place of fear and loathing.

    #2: Smog alters the color spectrum.

    #3: Who knows? Who cares?

    #4: Car-jackers stole it a decade or two ago. British tourists are easy marks. (Sounds like you got lost in one LA's highest crime areas - beware!)

    #5: I bet it was a Matchbox toy - a '59 Impala, but your real reason for renting one is really that your only alternative was a Chrysler Sebring.

    #6: Do you?

    #7: It's as far as their rickety boats would carry them. They don't talk loud - your hearing is unnaturally acute.

    #8: No one ever goes to downtown LA unless they absolutely have to, and then not until after 10AM. Everyone who can leaves before 2PM.

    #9: Pretentious concert halls built by over-rated architects and a gathering place for myopic politicians and their sycophants.

    #10: The gold standard is making a come-back?

    #11: WTF?

    #12: No. Chlorinated floating debris may come into contact with botoxed flesh.

    #13: No. Ashes do not preserve the lining.

    #14: The same as between a goose?

  6. Splendid, Randy, thanks, all settled.

  7. Some of those photos in the Mail .. I mean, God preserve Chantal Biya and all who sail in her. She could have half a dozen ducks in that banane and none of us would know the difference.

  8. Any time, Bryan. Let's "do lunch" next time - have your people contact my people.

  9. Love to, Randy, but only here for a night, heading out now.

  10. No you don't like The Savage Detectives.

  11. You never come to Philadelphia, but it's the city of brotherly (and sisterly) love. Sigh.

  12. Susan, he never goes to Philadelphia BECAUSE it's the city of sisterly love - and you are the sister.

    He knows you will flash your tits.

  13. Elberry, if you were here right now I would box your ears. YOU remind me of my brothers -- relentless in your teasing. But I forgive you, just as I do them....