Sunday, November 29, 2009

Buy Crunchies

Will Hutton is right, the takeover of Cadbury by Kraft would be a disaster. Kraft makes some of the nastiest foods in the world and Cadbury makes the Crunchie which should have three Michelin stars. The Americans can't make chocolate. The Hershey bar tastes like vomit. The loss of Cadbury would thus make our lives absolutely worse, like the takeover of Boots. Ah, but it's the free market. Yes, but we're not the market, Wall Street is. Buy boxes of Crunchies now.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 10:42 am

16 comments:

  1. WillardNovember 29, 2009 11:35 am

    Sod evolution and talk of souls: now we get down to the serious business that's sure to bring in 200+ comments.

    The Crunchie remains the one bar of chocolate that has made me (and continues to make me) violently sick. The only thing I can say in its favour is that it's not made by Nestlé.

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  2. AnonymousNovember 29, 2009 11:51 am

    The 50's and 60's were the heyday of processed, instant, frozen and ready-to-serve food products, and what a gastronomic horror they were. I found a table book last year with re-prints of ads from the era and it is astounding how many vile concoctions we ate. Plus it was also the era of a bizzare creativity for hostesses that featured buffets with endless kinds of insipid casseroles, jellied salads, baked vegetable dishes, bland meatloafs, etc., most ranging from the inedible to the execrable. It was all best summed up by a friend who described Anglo-American cooking of that era as: "Dessert was the prize you got for finishing the main course."

    Kraft was front and center in all this and I still remember a series of TV ads that took post-war moms through a series of exciting new recipes in a familiar, mellifluous voice: "Take a half pound of ground beef, add in two cups of chopped celery and carrots, blend with a mixture of delicious, savoury Kraft creamcheese and Kraft instant potatoes, bake at four hundred degrees for twenty minutes and top with smooth, delectable Kraft Miracle Whip." Honestly, it often wasn't even clear what course they were talking about.

    Taditionalists prone to nostalgia for the good old days should always keep two words in mind. The first is dentistry and the second is garlic.

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  3. traherneNovember 29, 2009 12:18 pm

    Reminds of those delicious confections Edna Everage used to knock up, usually containing bananas & soft fruit in strangely suggestive (compromising even)conjuctions ...

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  4. BritNovember 29, 2009 1:38 pm

    Dairy Milk is one of the better arguments for the desirability of immortality.

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  5. James HighamNovember 29, 2009 2:22 pm

    The Americans can't make chocolate. The Hershey bar tastes like vomit.

    Quite right, Bryan.

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  6. Frank WilsonNovember 29, 2009 2:22 pm

    Largely correct, Bryan. But before you entirely dismiss American chocolate, you should sample a Wilbur bud.

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  7. maltyNovember 29, 2009 7:34 pm

    Some years ago Rowntree MackIntosh were gobbled up by the Swiss behemoth Nestle, 'don't worry' was the word on the street, 'such a strong brand, we wouldn't dare change anything.'
    Even allowing for organic change the company has been comprehensively shafted, the Newcastle and York factories being blitzed from within.
    Pre takeover they were a perfectly sound well run British business.

    Capitalism at it's most evil, won't miss Borders Books though, from Ann Arbour to annihilation.

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  8. WillardNovember 29, 2009 11:09 pm

    Second time today that I've read somebody expressing indifference to the closure of Borders. Suppose it depends on where you live. All I know is that they were the best bookshop within 20 miles of my home and didn't replace any independent bookshops because the last of those disappeared about ten years ago.

    All I'm surrounded by now are bloody fake spray salons and shops that sell sports casual wear.

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  9. JudeNovember 30, 2009 1:22 am

    My ex-father-in-law worked for Kraft. I'll always remember a conversation we had back in 1979 or so where he talked glowingly about Kraft's accomplishments and summed it up by saying, "The world is a better place because we've created a cheese that is good for a year and doesn't have to be refrigerated." Crazy coot.

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  10. Ken PidcockNovember 30, 2009 2:21 am

    Largely correct, Bryan. But before you entirely dismiss American chocolate, you should sample a Wilbur bud.

    Thank you, Frank Wilson. I'm Pennsylvanian and couldn't come up with that name.

    I'll take everyone's word about the quality of Cadbury. I'm only familiar with the over-priced drek they marketed internationally, which may help to account for the present circumstance.

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  11. Ian russellNovember 30, 2009 8:28 am

    From God to devil worship in two posts!

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  12. UnknownNovember 30, 2009 10:15 am

    To be immortal and eating Dairy Milk ... a good description of Hell perhaps? Liking "milk chocolate" means not liking chocolate - dark chocolate is the proper one!

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  13. John MeredithNovember 30, 2009 10:33 am

    Yes, what IS it about Hershey? It has a peculiarly vegetable sort of taste, and not nice fresh vegetables, either, but veggies on the turn. Eating it is like sliding open the drawer at the bottom of a bachelor's fridge.

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  14. BritNovember 30, 2009 11:30 am

    Well one man's hell is another man's heaven etc etc Rory.

    Though that doesn't apply to Hershey's, which is objectively rubbish.

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  15. UnknownNovember 30, 2009 12:28 pm

    "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
    .. and Bryan's blog for the chocolate..
    I associate Dairy Milk with my childhood - although maybe it has aged better than
    Angel Delight

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  16. JimNovember 30, 2009 8:08 pm

    Apparently Hamid Karzai is a Cadbury fanatic.

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