Saturday, November 17, 2007

That Brown Briefing in Full

I posted a few days ago on the curious way the left is still trying to pretend that Gordon Brown is a good thing, despite all evidence to the contrary. Somehow, they want to mould him into what they thought he was, but he stubbornly persists in being what he is, ill-tempered, clannish and not nearly as bright as everybody said. Martin Kettle picks up the same theme in The Guardian today. I love the standfirst - 'There is a palpable desire to help Gordon Brown...' 'No, Gordon, you put it in there...' Kettle reveals that the 'Number 10 bunker is back. Brown, Ed Balls, Ed Miliband and Douglas Alexander talk every morning by phone at seven, meet every day at 10 to decide priorities, and are running the whole goverment.' The first funny thing here is that, since one daily priority is stabbing David Miliband in the back, young Ed M. seems to have acquired a taste for fratricide. Anyway, I have had exclusive access to one of these meetings.
'GB: Who am I?
EM: I'll never forgive that bastard brother of mine for nicking my marbles.
EB: Marbles?
Yvette Cooper (offstage left): Remember what I told you, darling.
GB: Who am I?
DA: I think we should try that imminent election thing again. But this time we'll promise to rig it.
EB: Marbles?
EM: Foreign bleeding secretary!
EB: Comfortable zebras, greengages, fuel injection, russet shading to blue, Venetian blinds.
YC (rushing on stage): Oh God, not again.
DA: Balls has a point. We could run it up the flagpole and see if anybody gets blue tongue.
GB Who am I?'


  1. I suppose I should not be surprised but how can you invest so much of your life in politics and still not know what to do in government ? The most striking point in the article was that Labour seem genuinely paralysed in the face of Cameron, who only a few months ago seemed a busted flush himself.

  2. He can't be bright. If he had been, the Bilderbergers would never have promoted him.

  3. Randy is right about the Bilderbergers... I think it seems like an anti-climax for Brown. He seems like he finds it a real let down. Also, he has put on weight...

  4. The weight issue is because the poor man is sinking more inevitably and deeply into the abyss where no sane individual wishes to descend, Randy. Matter is manifesting the metaphysical essence.

  5. What is also quite alarming is that talk of GD being hoisted into power by Bilderberg no longer sounds like far-out crazy conspiracy talk, it fits all the data and seems, if anything, a little dull, run-of-the-mill, "oh, so he's the man chosen by Bilderberg to destroy what's left of England? Good choice."