Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Cotton Bud

Liam Byrne (left) so much resembles a cotton bud that he actually sounds like a cotton bud on the radio. He is repeatedly wheeled out by the 'government' to explain why massive cuts in public spending are not actually cuts. This is such an awful, humiliating job that I have begun to feel sorry for the old cotton bud. But perhaps he thinks this is what a career in politics is all about and he is, in fact, deliciously happy.


  1. Thank you Bryan. The thought of him as a cotton bud will allow me to avoid the rage that bubbles up inside me when I think of him as the smiling buffoon. I can put the Gavascon away now.

  2. 6th May 2009

    Statement from Liam Byrne

    Liam Byrne said; "I'm simply thrilled to bits that LDV has now has a new future in its sights.

    "I always said LDV could make it big in the 'green van' market, which is why I've fought tooth and nail to get new investors to the table and government help to close the deal".

    "Our game-plan was simple. Buy two months of time to find a new investor - and secure the support to help get a new deal sealed.

    Mon 8 june BBC

    The "vast majority" of vanmaker LDV's 850 employees will be made redundant, administrators have said.

    Not so much cotton bud, more heavy flow sanitary towel.

  3. Thank you, it helps it really does. On another topic, the blameless Hugh Pym, economics editor of the BBC, I always mishear introduced as Huge Pin. He sort of looks like one.

  4. If, as some sections of the media would have us believe, the recession has bottomed out and green shoots are appearing, the housing market is taking off again, hairdressers are considering their next four year old M3 etc, then why do we need this pox doctors clerk telling us that reductions are actually increases, cuts are actually increased spending and please don't shaft us next year.

    I say pox doctors clerk, that occupation at least fulfilled a useful function.

    Why do cotton buds never flush down the toilet ?

    And before you ask Brit, no, we don't use them instead of toilet paper.

  5. Q-Tip [cotton bud] in America. It must have something to do with 007.

  6. I do worry when a politician, who I assume is well educated, is unable to string a sentence together without "ah" and "um" every other word. Seconded only by journalists who use "cotton buds" as an audible simile. What does a cotton bud sound like?