Saturday, September 16, 2006

The Ethics of Cemetery Eating

What is going on in Rotherham? Parents at the Rawmarsh Comprehensive School have been feeding their children through the fencing. Apparently, their little tykes would not eat the healthy school food and the caring, if terrifying, matriarchs were simply providing the deep fried curry they crave. This inspired mixed feelings in me - warm ones because it provided further evidence, if any were needed, that there is really no chance we shall ever become Scandinavian; cold ones in that I feared for the zit-spattered,artery-clogged future of these Yorkshire butterballs. But, in fact, the mothers claim the fence feeding is caused by problems with the school timetable. Some say they are providing healthy food at the fence as well as the more traditional pork scratchings in butter sauce. I wonder if I believe this - hmmmm, no I don't. That would have been that, but then the headmaster, one John Lambert, intervenes with an entirely new issue: "I have to question the morality of delivering it from the grounds of a cemetery." You can't deliver food from a cemetery!? I am already immersed in my 2,000 volumes of Canon Law. Nothing yet.

1 comment:

  1. Many of my most flavoursome and nutrionally satisfying meals have been delivered from the grounds of a cememetery. To mollify the residents we tend to place a boiled potatoon one of the more prominent headstones.