Friday, April 27, 2007
Celebrity News
Hugh Gere has been arrested for throwing baked beans over Shilpa Photographer. An Indian judge has issued arrest warrants for Richard Grant and Daily Shetty after they kissed and kicked each other in public. Prince Harry is being sent to Iraq to be kidnapped. 'It will produce such public revulsion against the war,' said a Downing Street spokesman, 'that we can pull out with honour. This is a Blair legacy project.' And - hot one this - Jeffrey Archer has had a blog makeover. 'We are especially pleased,' said Web designer Zak Bastard, 'with the way his suit clashes with the fetid oxblood of the background. Also, of course, with the fact that he didn't seem to notice.' Addenbrooke's Hospital is a recommended link for readers overcome by aesthetic seizures.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Not Zak Bastard, the man who would be a green-ish Tory MP? Please tell me he's not moonlighting already?
ReplyDeleteJeffrey Archer GB - is this an honour I don't know about or has he something against the Irish?
ReplyDeleteGolden Balls?
ReplyDeleteBryan, your column deserves to be the first with the celebrity news. Big Doc Paisley and I are planning to re-enact the Battle of the Boyne. Two weeks today.
ReplyDeleteCome along, all you fans of naked mud wrestling.
I'll take him. The man's a pussy cat.
Girl's Blouse?
ReplyDeleteWhat's the latest on Mother Madonna Theresa? Has she managed to adopt an African country yet?
ReplyDeletetalking of makeovers... those flashing messagespace ads are doing my bleedin' head in.
ReplyDeleteWhat i find so difficult to understand is why Hugh G would have a container of baked beans at his disposal. I mean, do you save the rest of a can of beans when you've used some? Tis toto incomprehensiblo to moi.
ReplyDeleteBryan, if the paps came to get you, what would you throw at them?
ReplyDeleteTruffles, Concepta, white ones.
ReplyDeleteOh man, you are so cool.
ReplyDeleteAnd so is Robyn Hitchcock bbc4 NOW
ReplyDeleteSo why would you buy a suit that horrible color and why would you wear a suit without a tie?
ReplyDeleteAnd concepta asked the same thing I was wondering... why was Mr. G. wandering around with a tray of baked beans? Is this some kind of English custom?
ReplyDelete