Sunday, April 15, 2007

William and Kate: You Read It Here First

The News of the World confirms my astounding insight that Prince Philip was the decisive figure in the break-up of William and Kate. The NoW doesn't have all the details - notably the blindfold and the the gun cocking - but they will emerge in due course. The paper does, however, report: 'The final death blow to Wills' relationship with his university sweetheart was delivered by grandfather Prince Philip. He declared: 'You can't string her along for ever.'' The quote leaves out the final word 'Blondy', Big Phil's pet name for Wills. Of some constitutional interest are the words of a senior courtier - 'Within the royal family the Queen acts as head of the country and Prince Philip is the head of the family...' Leaving aside the oddity of the statement itself - she acts as head of the country within the royal family (?) - one finds oneself breathing a sight of relief that they didn't ever think of swapping roles. With Philip and his celebrated diplomatic skills in charge, Britain would by now be an irradiated waste land.

4 comments:

  1. The whole royal love saga has been engineered by Alastair Campbell, as someone on Andrew Marr said this morning. If that's the case let the papers finish with Will & Kate as soon as possible so that we can go back to focusing on slightly more important issues.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just get rid of them. Bunch of fucking morons.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so disappointed in you Bryan. Until I read this blog entry I had been spared ever hearing of this "Kate" person and I had successfully blocked out almost all knowledge ever absorbed about this "William" guy. The only memory I had left was that William was five years old and had a brother whose name I can't recall and a dead mother. As to the rumor that some day he may be king, since his grandmother is going to live forever this will mercifully remain just a rumor.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know, Tom, I'm sorry. There's a tabloid in me struggling to get out.

    ReplyDelete