Tuesday, March 06, 2007


In October I forecast the merger of Apple and Google. I was, as ever, well ahead of my time. Over skinny triple shot moccachino tchai Kenyan Mountain blend smoothie lattes with beef tips and extra cinnamon, Steve Jobs tells me the main obstacle to the merger was the awkward fact that both company names end in 'le'. Talks now seem to be converging on my Goopple solution.
PS: I discover from Private Eye that Apple gives a 20 per cent discount to members of the National Union of Journalists. Hence, says the Eye, their good press. I've given Apple a good press but I don't belong to the NUJ and I don't take bribes. Oh and Apple is crap. (Just covering myself, Steve.)


  1. It's been observed many times before, but Apple commands an astonishing mindshare and column-inch-share in home computing related to its actual market share.

    As one commentator wryly noted around the launch of Vista, it was amazing to see how many major news organisations blindly regurgitated launch-spoiling Apple propaganda about iTunes' supposed incompatibility with Vista - despite the fact Mr Jobs' techno-monkeys had ample time to prepare for it.

    Having now been through three iPods that have died within a year and a half (though always after a year!) of purchase, I can fully believe a 20 per cent discount can go an awful long way...

  2. Oddly enough, Johnny, my new Apple desk top had a seizure that required a return to the shop.

  3. TWENTY PER CENT?!!? Bwahaahaha. It's about 6% in reality. Still it's a nice enough perk for being in the Union. I doubt the money I've saved though even comes close to the money I've lost when out on strike over the years.

  4. I have to laugh at Apple's latest PC Vs Mac ads that perpetuate the flagrant lie that "Macs don't crash".

    I was defiantly anti-Mac for years, largely out of ignorance. It was only when one was forced upon me in an office for subbing purposes that I grudgingly conceded they were "okay". But by God that system crashed like a You've Been Framed motorway pile-up special.

    Still, I've about had it with Windows after years of suffering. Notwithstanding my previous comment, anyone who upgrades to Vista now is mad, as it'll be broken for months.

    What I've come to appreciate about Macs is not that they're fundamentally better, but that they are designed for actual consumers.

    To achieve this they're quite dishonest, hiding away the crap that's meaningless to Average Joe while batting their big flat-screen eyes at you, whereas Windows bombards you with CPU-crippling nonsense, Klingon-clear error messages and a needless and bewildering array of parameters for things you never knew existed and wished didn't.

    So, to continue a theme... Mac might be the cat of home computing; but when your PC dog is fouling the living room carpet and savaging the kids, anything's preferable.

    And those iMacs are ever so pretty... How much for an NUJ membership?

  5. How was the service Bryan? I understand Apple has a lot to teach others there.

  6. In the event, the service was good, though there was a serious discontinuity between what was said on the phone and at the store. To complex and boring to explain. The thingw as fixed in 24 hours. The Power PC-Intel transition was at the heart of the matter.

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