Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Sustaining a Tolerable Equanimity
The 'Even Keel' headline was a bit clunky, so I've now gone for the above Jeevesian construction to describe our collective rules for the conduct of the bearable life. I will produce the final list in due course, but, meanwhile, just to share with you Malaysian's 'Do not rely on the good intentions of any cat'. My shout of laughter was followed by a melancholy nod of agreement. This is truly equanimity-sustaining advice. There's something wrong with cats.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Never avoid what you could have done if you hadn't not done it in the first place.
ReplyDeleteYou can tell a lot about someone by whether they're a dog- or a cat-person.
ReplyDeleteCats are intrinsically untrustworthy creatures.
The dog, the glorious, happy-go-lucky, carefree dog, is the most loyal friend a man will ever have in his life, if treated well. Human beings, even family, will come and go; but the stalwart mutt will be right there, come rain or shine, by its master's side, with no greater demands than a walk in the park and a warm rug upon which to lick its privates.
Cats, on the other hand, are shamelessly fawning, endlessly scheming creeps which only stick around when there's something in it for them. As soon as they get what they want, off they go again.
"Cat", I've come to realise in this context, is interchangeable with "woman".
But for that last line, Johnny, I entirely concur. And, Amanda, an exceptionally fine contribution.
ReplyDeleteI like to see myself as the Princess of Lucidity.
ReplyDeleteIt's like the famous line attributed to Churchill:
ReplyDelete"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
Aliquod pro facile vitae
ReplyDeleteHas been the family motto for generations and has taken us smoothly from unparralled riches to genteel poverty, but with tolerable equanimity fylly intact.
ReplyDeleteWalk everywhere - but look where you're going.
ReplyDelete(Related to the above) Keep on drinking.
Never, ever re-read Catcher in the Rye (or Le Grand Meaulnes).
And there's a lot to be said for the great B Kliban's words - Never eat anything bigger than your head.
We're all a bit catty at times. As for cats, I don't think there is anything wrong with them. People who own cats, though, must be deluded. I had a cat for a few years. And when I look back now they were wilderness years. I was a mess. I didn't blame the cat, but I think he blamed me for a lot.
ReplyDeleteOh, another one from experience: Beware of childbearing shrieks.
I was viciously attacked, verbally and nearly physically, for uttering what I thought were comforting words to my wife as she gave birth. She can be a bit touchy when in agony.
Cats never fawn, Johnny. Clearly, you know nothing about us.
ReplyDeleteneer vote for anything; vicotry and defeat have their own consequences.
ReplyDeleteVoting abstinence allows for an amiable dislike of all sides and all governments.
Spend 50% less energy in taking offense than people expend in giving offense to you. Make the people you hate really work for that hatred.
ReplyDeleteOkay, Claw - cats affect to fawn. Which is far worse.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, let us spare a moment to recall which animal George Galloway impersonated with such shape-shifting ease on Celebrity Big Brother. Coincidence?
I am, however, rethinking my entire cats/women theory in light of this startling evidence.