Nige, the man who knows about ornithology, though definitely no twitcher, saw a chiffchaff on Box Hill in Surrey yesterday. It turns out he was one of the first to spot the bird this year. This means spring has started. Global warming? Bring it on. Well, er, I didn't actually mean...
A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Reminds me of John Major.
ReplyDeleteTrue. Very true.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lot of people don't realise is that the Chiffchaff overwinters in Ireland, not in Africa as previously thought. It's arrival on your shores has nothing to do with global warming and everything to do with the Cheltenham festival and St Patrick's day. 'Tis indeed the blarney bird.
ReplyDeleteWhy on earth would one overwinter in Ireland?
ReplyDeleteIs that really Bertie and Edwina?
ReplyDeletePresumably, if you couldn't afford the air fare to go somewhere warmer…
ReplyDeleteOtis B Driftwood
An extremely buoyant nest market and low capital grains tax in Ireland has made it a favourite destination for those who want a quick return on their nest egg. However, market analysts have still not twigged why the inscrutable Chiffchaff chooses to conduct its business during the winter months. They say it may have something to do with wormholes.
ReplyDeleteI suspect not, CaptainB
ReplyDeleteAha, but is that really CaptainB and Otis?
ReplyDeleteAnd is that really you, Anon? Hard to tell.
ReplyDeleteEdwina, is there really any need for such language at this time of the day? It strikes me as entirely unnecessary for a lady such as yourself to eff and blind so.
ReplyDeleteOtis B Driftwood.
I had that Edwina Currie over to stay here a few years back. She told me all about her negotiations with the galloping major. I thought to myself that she was very forward-looking and I had half a mind to offer her a post in my cabinet, if you follow my drift. I suggested to her that she might like to help cement Anglo-Irish relations with me but she had a strange wistful look in her eyes which told me that then was not the time.
ReplyDeleteOtis, the person you know as Edwina Currie is merely a simulacrum. I'm just an actress off the street hired to play a part. This politics is just television, and the equivalent of striking gold for us thespians- even better than getting Coronation Street as we get a bit more leeway to develop the character. That potato head "Bertie Aherne" is actually Welsh ffs.
ReplyDeleteOh Edwina, you haven't changed a bit, have you!
ReplyDeleteBryan, I'm glad to hear that the potty mouth was merely an element of 'Edwina's' character. That sort of language from a dame is most offputting - certainly during daylight hours, anyway.
ReplyDeleteOtis BD
Otis, the time of day is a complete mystery to me. I've been on a bender with Maureen Lipman for God knows how ......... long. This is a real struggle to rein myself in.
ReplyDeleteJust to add, Berie, you're still a crap actor. All you can do is the accent.
Everyone seems to have forgotten about the fucking chiffchaff, haven't they?
ReplyDeleteThat last comment by 'Edwina' raised a genuine belly-laugh. (But great comedians always know when to stop, remember...)
ReplyDeleteI think Edwina knows her time is up.
ReplyDeleteBryan, is this now The Appleyard Forum?
ReplyDeleteEdwina, you'd make a great guest at my next dinner party! Do call...
This winter hasn't even seemed like a winter. There was hardly any frost on the ground. Which is shite. I like winter.
ReplyDeleteWe'll take Edwina off you in return for a host of golden chiffchaffs, winging their way towards you right now. In the morning, you will be blessed by their mournful call and we will still have the better deal. Edwina, your time in England may be up but your time in Ireland is just beginning.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that this singing Chiff Chaff was "one of the first" as they are often found from early March in the South and they are singing up here in Northumberland now as well. Many Chiff Chaff's now winter in the UK and are therefore well placed to establish a territory and begin singing early.Now if it had been a Cuckoo....
ReplyDeleteThat's all I need- a fucking invitation from the Micks.
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