Thursday, February 26, 2009
Gwyneth Starts War
Oh no! Gwyneth has set back Franco-American relations by a decade. Her latest GOOP emission consists of her Paris restaurant hotel recommendations. Of The Ritz she says, 'The place is just beautiful and the service is pretty flawless FOR FRANCE.' I can see the ambassador clutching his head and talking to his fourth Jack Daniels. This is a nuclear armed nation and they're funny about hotels and stuff and very funny about Americans. Surely, Gwyneth, nice Mr Obama has enough on his plate...
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?
ReplyDeleteGosh, quite possibly, Brit.
ReplyDeleteWell, their limousine service turned out to have a few flaws.
ReplyDeleteFrance is in no position to start a stooshie, the state of its armed forces is as follows.
ReplyDeleteOf its force of 346 Leclerc tanks only 142 are operational and frequently break down. Only 50% of its Puma helicopters and 37% of its lynx and 33% of its Super Frelons are functioning. Two thirds of its Mirage F1 jets are grounded. Germany had better equiped armed forces in spring 1945. They are currently pushing for a European army.
Gwyn obviously is aware of this and has taken full advantage. She could take 'em on with one hand tied behind her back.
Go on, Gwen petal, get on the blower and shout "Dien Bien Phu, Crecy, Mers-el-Kebir" at the frogs.
In fact bollocks, Brit, hold me coat, I'll go and sort the bastards out meself, De Gaulle and his "non" indeed, ungrateful swine.
Good lord, Mystic, are its nukes, you know, all right?
ReplyDeleteDear Lord, Brit. What is it with you guys and Gwynnie? It could be the face that munched a thousand chips, for all I care. She was awfully good in Shakespeare in Love, though...
ReplyDeleteYes Sophie, a lot of the time she played the part of a man, and Bryan, rumour has it lots of gaffer tape has been employed.
ReplyDeleteDo you mean tit tape, Malty? Speaking as someone who has tried to use it, I now know that you mustn't move your arms otherwise it all goes horribly wrong and you overflow into your soup.
ReplyDeleteI think Malty was referring to the French nukes, Sophie, but Gwyneth does seem to have employed the gaffer tape your way here:
ReplyDeleteIs this the tit tape that launched a thousand ships?
Well its good to know that Gwynnie is not feeling the pinch at the purse even if she has to endure the pinch elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteOhohoh, poor Gwyneth. You try to be the Mrs. Beeton of the 21st century and all these people get on your case. Bad service at the Ritz...indeed! But I think she's got her heart in the right place, she just doesn't live in the world 99.9 % of us inhabit. P.S., Brit, I think her cleavage combined with her face launched a thousand ships, as well as many a man's hydraulic equipment.
ReplyDelete