There is a field of cows to the south of where I live. The cows tend to face north. This is nothing to do with the earth's magnetic field, it is because they are staring in envy at a very thin man. Equally, the whales are losing blubber because, like everybody else, they have been convinced by my example to ditch the carbs. And, finally, I would be more impressed of these guys had driven to Greece, not on grease but on Corn Flakes, a far better use of that toxic breakfast food. But, I know, I did say I would stop talking about this diet thing.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A Cow Faces North
There is a field of cows to the south of where I live. The cows tend to face north. This is nothing to do with the earth's magnetic field, it is because they are staring in envy at a very thin man. Equally, the whales are losing blubber because, like everybody else, they have been convinced by my example to ditch the carbs. And, finally, I would be more impressed of these guys had driven to Greece, not on grease but on Corn Flakes, a far better use of that toxic breakfast food. But, I know, I did say I would stop talking about this diet thing.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Where have I seen that cow before? I was looking forward to the Stiffkey Fete, 2008, photo of Thumper and Grabber, purely for comparison purposes with 2007, you understand. I suspect it would reveal two ultra-fit slim men, in stark contrast to the right hand side of last year's photo, unless Grabber has become a high carb man and gone in the opposite direction. If he has, it would provide a sort of satisfying symmetry.
ReplyDeletethat's useful to know if the sat-nav packs in. especially in E. Anglia where there often seems to be a derth of trees.
ReplyDeleteoh what bad news! looks like you'll have to eat more chips in future.
ReplyDeleteI am still sad that I will never get to hear Warren Zevon live and in concert. But he did tell a great story about what he used to have on his cornflakes instead of milk: Vodka.
ReplyDeletePoor man never got the kind of recognition he should have because he drank so hard for so many years. But what an amazing talent to still have managed to shine despite that. Rather like my hero Bill Nighy, now that I think of it.
is old Bill a pisshead? I just thought he was acting! he is the only DID guest whose list I remotely understood - good on yer, Nighy!
ReplyDeleteI don't want to doubt you, Bryan, but I think it's the slightly squashed widescreen that makes you look even thinner.
ReplyDeleteHe quit drinking in '92, Ian, and immediately started getting starring roles ("Still Crazy," etc.). He is an amazing actor, which I really know now that I've seen him on the stage. He is compelling to look at listen to, even when the play is lousy. That is a gift.
ReplyDeleteAnd will soon be in what I suspect is going to be a great movie (penned by Richard Curtis): "The Boat that Rocked." About a rogue radio station based on a boat off the coast of England. Has great pre-press already. You guys will doubtless get to see it Jolly Olde way before it ever comes out here -- lucky ducks.
I suppose you're having us on. You know that if you continue to use the word "diet" you will spend the rest of your life being asked, "How's the diet going?" Preserving sanity may mean coming up with another formula. Or, next thing, people may start referring to the Sunday Times Chief Celery Critic and you receive a torrent of calls from publishers suggesting a recipe book.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear Warren Zevon mentioned on here. He was a very brave man. But I ain't laying my head on the railroad track at the moment, no siree.
You're right, Mark. I saw the writing on the wall when somebody gave me a bunch of celery for a birthday present. The fact that it was excellent celery was beside the point.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I always mix up Warren Zevon with Townes Van Zandt? And vice versa? And sometimes Levon Helm...
ReplyDeleteGet his last greatest hits album, "Genius," and you won't mix him up anymore, Nige. He has some astonishingly good songs on there, many of which you will know by other, more famous artists who covered them.
ReplyDeleteYou should try living on my salary ... which I have published about on my blog. You would be thin in a month...
ReplyDelete