Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Pity the Bulldog
Puppy-cloning and the breeding of pedigree dogs have both been attacked for causing canine suffering. Both activities are, of course, merely accelerations of a very ancient process - the construction of animals that flatter and please humans. The domestic dog is an invented creature; it is, therefore, meaningless so speak of a wild type by which to judge contemporary variations. But these accelerations cause suffering and, thereby, draw attention to the enormity of what we have done. Inbred freaks designed to win beauty contests and perfect clones, constructed on the corpses and agonies of thousands of failure, are horrible evidence of our true feelings about animals - not that we love them but that we own them, body and soul. The fate of that emblematic creature the bulldog - now reduced to a wheezing, crumple-faced, massive-skulled cripple - says it all.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
forgive them for they know not what they do.
ReplyDeletestill, what a bunch of silly people! silly, rich people! the poor man's mutt will win the day.
Bull dogs are not wild creature...they are very faithful than man.Nice thoughts.Thanks
ReplyDeleteThe only safe place to criticize dogs, however mildly, is Korea, where as you will know they have adopted to excellent policy of eating them.
ReplyDeleteIn response to a profile in the Daily Mail (yes, I know) of the late Barbara Woodhouse, who styled herself as some sort of dog-guru, and who claimed that she would meet up with her departed mutts "in heaven", I wrote a letter to the editor. In this I averred that if she were right, I would rather go to the other place; and somewhere in my diatribe referred to "mindless barking" and "cretinously selfish owners". The storm of protest this letter raised was a joy to behold -- what about dogs for the blind, rescue dogs, sniffer dogs, dogs keeping company the elderly whom their own children have abandoned, etc., etc? No one mentioned the only useful feature of dogs, of course, or referred to that memorable scene in King Rat, by James Clavell, in which one of the prisoners' dogs is purchased and then cooked by the hero.
In general i disapprove of over-breeding dogs, however careful breeding has resulted in the dobermann, which is surely one of the greatest achievements both of nature and of Man.
ReplyDeleteThe dobermann is not merely a joy to behold, with its glossy coat, dragonlike snout, big rubbery nose, long pink tongue, huge cavernous maw of exquisitely deadly teeth, big loving brown eyes, orange eyebrows, and massive man-slaying paws, it is also a highly intelligent and sensitive dog capable of savaging one's enemies at just the right moment.
They also like rum and butter cake.
Selective breeding of dogs by unscrupulous breeders (AKA the Irish) is a problem. However it pales into insignificance compared with the selective breeding of humans (AKA the Oxbridge route) a prime example of this is Milly band, probably the end result of a cross between an estate agent and a barrister, dueling banjos anyone?
ReplyDeleteElberry, you forgot to mention the Labradoodle, the political end of the dog world.
Bryan I have been told (forced) by Frau Malty to come clean and admit that she also chooses my shirts.
And trousers.
ReplyDeleteShoes.
ReplyDeleteOh,and did I mention vests.
ReplyDeleteMalty, I am with you (on your first comment -- not the ones having to do with Frau Malty's fashion sense). If you want to see inbreeding at its worst, you have only to look at the British aristocracy.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, 'twas the subject of my favorite Monty Python sketch -- the rich twits competing (to undo the bra of a debutante, etc.).
AKC, I meant.
ReplyDeletei suspect there's a huge difference between breeding a dog for Crufts purposes and breeding a dog for manslaying purposes (the noble dober) or for its sheep-herding know-how. i can't see any functional use for poodles but dobers are almost perfect for manslaying. They're also lovely beasts and excellent companions.
ReplyDeleteUnless they're slaying you Elberry. You'll never get to break bread together then ("com-panion").
ReplyDeleteWhat, Malty, the Irish dislike has extended to the Bulldogs. I think you may be going a tad far with that one.
ReplyDeleteAnd anyway, We do not really dislike you, that much. Along with the Scot and most of the rest of the world, we would just as soon that you did not win all that much. You have to admit you are not very good winners, leaning as you do to prancing and cocky tail waving.
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ReplyDelete