Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The Olympics: London Forges Ahead

My clairvoyance today provides a startling insight into the conversations about to take place between inspectors from the International Olympic Committee and the London Olympics.:

International Olympic Committee: So, London, the cost...
London: Hi!
International Olympic Committee: Quite.... of the 2012 running and jumping thing is four times what you said it would be, everybody hates you, your logo causes epilepsy as well as a series of obscene and anti-semitic jokes and you have failed to buy the superb design offered by Mr Appleyard. Furthermore, following the Wembley fiasco - not to mention the NHS computer, tax credits, the Child Support Agency, the Millennium Dome and all the other things that cause Gordon Brown to vanish mysteriously - a piss-up in a brewery would plainly test your organisational powers to destruction. Have I missed anything?
London: Great! You certainly have! We've got this brilliant storage solution - drawers in stairs! How cool is that?
International Olympic Committee: Oh wow! Get some of those installed in my pad and I'll sign off on all this running and jumping nonsense - best Olympics ever, yadda-yadda-yadda.
London: Cool!


  1. But think of the beauty of the massed Morris Dancers during the opening. Now there is something to put a tear or two in the eye.

  2. Ah yes, those dancing Morris Minors. How we shall miss them.

  3. Drawers in stairs is pretty damn cool.

  4. hmm, but would it pass 'health and safety'? it's bad enough when careless folk leave their handbags & manbags on the lower steps.

  5. A wretched but valid point, Ian. Nothing cool ever bloody passes health and safety these days.

  6. A lovely roomy one-bedroomed flat available in the Kingston area located between Step One & Step Three, 45 Burlington Ave.