Monday, March 10, 2008

The Imperfect Storm

I was unable to blog this morning as I was hastily constructing a raft from excitingly contemporary furniture. I am now floating down Bayswater Road, my Designers Guild bedspread sail puffed out by the mighty gale from the west. Bankers seated in Eames chairs are drifting past me. Their wives, clutching giant baby buggies, are balancing precariously on Conran tables and trying not to look at the children of the poor clinging on to their Ikea wardrobes. West London is a series of islands, the highest points crowded with writers, art dealers, hedge funders and nannies. Royal Navy helicopters have just begun pick up the most famous and those with the most plausible VAT records. A vast cruise ship can be seen in the distance. It is carrying Ken Livingstone and his 'advisers' to safety.
But, seriously, where is this storm? It just looks like an averagely bad day out there. It is very disappointing. With the Budget due, is this another Brownian plot to distract us from the appalling state of the public finances?

9 comments:

  1. At last someone prepared to speak truth to power.

    First a 'major' earthquake knocks over a Mrs Midgen's Toby jug in Dudley, then lightening and thunder have forget their fury. Either the forces of bureaucratic darkness are overwhelming us or this just a very moderate little island. The second can't be true, so it must be the first.

    Keep up the brave work. Nothing as yet about this on the BBC. Typical!

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  2. Really must use that preview facility . Will slink into the dunce's corner until I learn to write in a manner befitting your blog.

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  3. Don't beat yourself up, Recusant, just keep rowing.

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  4. Ah, if only I had had teachers like you, what couldn't I have achieved?

    Rowing? I am, but this Tesco 'Value Range' wardrobe seems to be made of cardboard. Might have to go down with the ship.

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  5. once this storm is over then you can read the leaves.

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  6. with the most plausible VAT records

    Chuckle.

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Carshalton is of course under water. You'll get nothing from me today but a stream of bubbles. Pretty much service as normal then...

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  9. Aw, give 'em a break! Do you know what the word chaos smells like after its sell-by date?!

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