Saturday, May 05, 2007

Dylan to Free Paris Hilton

Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter is 70 tomorrow. He was, of course, the inspiration for Bob Dylan's song Hurricane. Dylan himself, meanwhile, is now known as the 'weird man' who sings scary songs at his son's school. This seems like an unfortunate destiny for the Bobster, the supreme genius of popular music. But I think I can help. I have a cause that will, like the imprisonment of Carter, fire both his anger and his genius. It will, moreover, gain him a new following among the very young. Paris Hilton, the lady with a ball-bearing sewn into the end of her nose, has been sentenced to 45 days imprisonment. I have fantasised about being stuck in a lift with Paris and Jeff in the past, but now is not the time for fantasy, now is the time for action. Free Paris 'Ball-Bearing' Hilton. Let's hear it Bob - 'Here comes the story of the Ball-Bearing...'


  1. I'm not sure I'd even want a free Paris Hilton, thanks all the same.

  2. Oh come, Lammermuir, she is a great distraction.

  3. 45 days seems a bit extreme for a bit of contempt of court. And, yes, she's a distraction right enough.

  4. Oh no she needs to stay in jail, how else are they going to work the hot lesbian prison sex into the Paris Hilton life story book/movie that is inevitably going to top the Sunday Times list at some point in the next two years?
    (And if that doesn't get you a few hits nothing will)

  5. A great distraction, Bryan, or a great consolation?

  6. Her mother, Kathy, laughed when the demand for a custodial sentence was made during the prosecution's closing argument and asked Judge Michael Sauer for his autograph.

    Suddenly, all is revealed and all is understood.

  7. Free Paris Hilton

    For every day that Paris Hilton spends in jail, I'm am calling for
    everyone to go to the nightclubs every night, and when you see a celebrity, a rich person,
    or a judge leave, call the police and tell them there is a drunk driver on the road.

    I wanna see a thousand celebrities and rich people arrested every night for every night
    Paris Hilton spends in jail.

    The Starmaker

    >The Starmaker wrote:
    > and there is no law against drinking and driving!
    > Paris Hilton doesn't deserve jail...
    > If you want to see more celebrities drink and drive and
    > go to jail, just go to the nightclubs they hang out, and wait
    > till they leave the nightclub, follow their cars and call the police
    > and tell them there is a drunk driving on the road and give them the licence plate numbers,
    > take pictures and sell it!
    > If everybody would do that, what do you think would happen?

    Maybe they'll free Paris Hilton!