Saturday, July 14, 2007
Alliss in Wonderland
Apart from the matter of Fat Monty, I have no interest golf, but I do periodically find myself watching it on television in a light trance. This is solely because of the mad, commentating improvisations of Peter Alliss. Just now I learned, as a direct result of some fragment of Alliss whimsy, that Australians use rubber snakes to keep ducks out of their gardens. I also now learn that he weighed 14lbs 11oz at birth and never learned to swim - 'I can float on my back across the Atlantic, but turn me face down and it's over...' Find out more at weird and wonderful web site. Alliss holds out the hope that behind every golf bore there lurks a good old English fruitcake.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
As it's Tour de France time, don't forget this man.
ReplyDelete'I can float on my back across the Atlantic, but turn me face down and it's over...' What is ? Alliss or the Atlantic ?
ReplyDeleteAlliss is capable of genius, but too often these days can be a crotchety old bore a la Wogan. The greatest commentator EVER has to be the sublime Sid Waddell, the Geordie who uses the benefit of his classical education to turn darts into a compelling spectacle. However, I do urge everyone to watch the Scottish Open. Loch Lomond is one of the most beautiful settings for a golf course anywhere in the world - and the course itself is super (and of course, situated in Golf's home country). Listen to what the players have to say about it once their rounds have finished. Fat Monty regards it as one of his favourites too.
ReplyDeleteAlas, it's more likely that behind every old English fruitcake there lurks a golf bore, his fat hands poised to grab it for himself before climbing into his Lexus and rushing home to count the blades of grass on his lawn in case a duck has stolen any during his absence at the club.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little concerned at the trance, though. I wonder if this is a widespread phenomenon every time Peter Alliss is on TV. Anyway, I'm grateful for the tip. When in Australia, always remember to wear a rubber duck on your head in order to frighten away the snakes.