Saturday, July 28, 2007

A Helping Hand for Saintly Guido

Great Guido, the saintly Sage of Westminster, has always suffered, uncomplainingly, from the commenters on his blog. Every Friday, doggedly, bloggedly, Guido runs a caption contest, hoping to get a few laughs from the entries. And, every week, a hundred or more utterly unfunny comments appear from contributors who, apparently, wouldn't know a joke if it leapt up screaming 'I am a joke!' prior to biting them on the nose. Lately I have taken to submitting my own entries. I see myself in this role as the cavalry, adding tone to what might otherwise be little more than a vulgar brawl. This week my entry was so good, I have decided to steal Guido's pic. Any funny alternatives will be welcomed, but I am looking for quality, not quantity. Anyway, my caption is:
'David has coped well with his Rwandan hemicorporectomy.'


  1. ' The hemicorporectomy went well, now I'm off with my surgeon to get this bent rod taken out of my nose'

  2. Brilliant johntyh. Lol. That's the thing - to focus on what's in the pic.

  3. " Where to, Govnor".
    "Appleyard is coming to get me, on a bloody horse. Just go, damn it, GO".

  4. "So you'll definitely go through with this, David?"
    "Of course. In a few minutes Brown will come out of that pub, & cross the road at the pedestrian crossing. We tear up behind him, & I brandish my sword & cut off his head."

    "So you'll definitely go through with this, David?"
    "Of course. It can't fail. When we break 80, the catalytic converter will kick in & we're back in post-war Britain. With the demise of Churchill, the Party's mine."

  5. Three wheels on my wagon,
    And I’m still rolling along
    The Cherokees are chasing me
    Arrows fly, right on by
    But I’m singing a happy song


  6. Earnest N. UttersJuly 28, 2007 10:40 am

    Dave's commitment to the green cause is so great he now travels in a hovering aubergine (seen here next to old Labour technology, modelled by Hazel Blears)

  7. David Cameron endorses MADD's designated driver campaign.

    "If I can save but one young Hollywood starlet...or perhaps an American astronaut..."

  8. 'I have a vision for Britain. I see an exciting journey we will travel together, riding over the most winding of roads and the roughest of mountain tracks, through tempest and turbulance. Whatever the obstacles, we can be sure that the tyres on our bike will be up to the job. So grab your helmet and your leathers, and prepare for government'

  9. But Guido did publish this picture of G. Brown for one of the contests... worth 1,000 words, unfunny or not.

  10. Johntyh's bent rod was a gift of the Rwandan people no doubt.