I notice some fatigue setting in with the picture captions. Perhaps the moment has passed. Perhaps Ian Russell has expired. Their value to me is, of course, they give me something to put on the blog when I wake without a thought in my head. I am in that condition now. Thoughtless, utterly. What better way to capture this state than with a barbecue? More mindless than ballet, more barbaric than Jeremy Kyle, more... no, mind quite blank.
Monday, October 01, 2007
The Barbecue Caption
I notice some fatigue setting in with the picture captions. Perhaps the moment has passed. Perhaps Ian Russell has expired. Their value to me is, of course, they give me something to put on the blog when I wake without a thought in my head. I am in that condition now. Thoughtless, utterly. What better way to capture this state than with a barbecue? More mindless than ballet, more barbaric than Jeremy Kyle, more... no, mind quite blank.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Experts divided on Holy Grail.
ReplyDeleteThat's a barbecue?! I thought it was some kind of vandal-proof sanitary fitting. I don't get out much. That's Norfolk, to judge by the wall...
ReplyDelete25th Century archaeologists discover British monument to Rain Gods.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBryan's concerns over bigger birdlife leads to bigger egg cups.
ReplyDelete(maybe you could post some sudoku)
'In an attempt to revitalise the picture caption, Bryan unveils the 'Appleyard Cup' to be awarded annually for services to caption writing. As far seeing as ever, he awards it to Ian Russell for 07, 08, 09, 10 and 11'
ReplyDelete(John Carey described the idea as being "as mindless as Chess or Quantum Mechanics"; Kyle said it was "a travesty, being fun, at times witty, and occasionally very entertaining, therefore going against everything I believe in"; Stephen Fry was horrified saying "I have had to start my own blog to counteract the dumbing-down effect of this development. I must be right because everyone has told me so")
Nige, I'm with you. It looks like a water fountain or something. How does one get the ashes out of it?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Bryan, speaking of images: I sent you and Nige a couple of original sketches last week on postcards. I now fear you shall never receive them as I sent them to Lancaster Gate and you appear to now be elsewhere. Does the UK mail forward postcards? Here they don't bother; p-cards go to Bartleby the Scrivener's dead letter office.
Oh, well. A rather nice triton shell for Nige shall sound where no one can hear it. C'est la vie.
Man who blow all money on stainless steel barbecue can only afford Polish bricklayer for garden wall.
ReplyDelete(notting hillbilly proverb)
Following a surprise win in Hell's Kitchen, the new spar in the George Foreman Lean Grill range is the Barry McGuigan Incinerator.
ReplyDeleteeBay item #32: Notting Hill designer barbecue. only used once. (residents 99% vegan).
ReplyDeleteeBay item #33: Pair of steaks, one very well done, one uncooked but used (slight mascara stain).
The Notting Hill Underground Nuclear Fallout Bunker. Please place all mail, food, and journalistic assignments for consideration in hopper. thank you.
ReplyDeleteHippo queues at A&E after losing prosthetic leg in Bryan Appleyard's garden: "I just opened my mouth, and then it was gone."
ReplyDeleteThe meditation pillar of St Bryan Stylites.
Is this Beagle 3? A mad scientist will send it all the way to Mars to look for lamb chops buried beneath the Martian surface. Super-sophisticated sensors will feed soil samples to a special compartment where Pom-Pom, a Jack Russell, will bark if he detects an interesting odour. A double bark may mean that tandoori chicken has been discovered.
Sellafield's plutonium books are once again balanced after stolen fuel rod found providing eternal daylight to customers at 'The Laughing Cavalier'
ReplyDeleteTimely as ever - you will have seen this of course ...
ReplyDeleteNorth Carolina pair feud over leg
A US man who stored his amputated leg in a barbecue smoker that was later auctioned off is locked in a custody dispute with the man who bought it ...