Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Eat the Badgers
Of course, killing all the badgers to save the cows is just silly. What we should be doing is releasing the cows into the wild, rounding up the badgers and demanding exciting new badger steak recipes from the sublime but apparently insane Nigella. Last night she gave Alan Yentob salted peanuts in chocolate sauce. He nodded approvingly. Badger, I am given to understand, goes very well with jam.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
I'm not sure I could cope with the sight of dead cows littering our verges. you don't even need to swerve for a badger.
ReplyDeleteshe opened a bag of Treets?! standards really are falling....
ReplyDeleteWell, there is always the option favored by staunch greens. It requires leaving the cows and the badgers in peace, but....
ReplyDeleteAnd what were M&M's called before, there is nuts in em, I believe. But, there is always the Marathon bar, peanuts drowned in toffee and entombed in lovely chocolate.
Yes, yes, but they're not SALTED are they?
ReplyDeleteare you absolutely sure?
ReplyDeleteanyway, why did the badgers cross the road? 'cos they were playing chicken. apparently, the spread of bovine TB has been contained by the badger's inability to cross high speed roads successfully. I really don't know why they don't build more motorways... sorted!
salted nuts and chocolate are good! Add vanilla ice cream and you have a sundae -- yum
ReplyDeleteWhile we're on the subject of tv celebs, has anybody seen the reaction an article about Johnathan Ross in todays Telegraph has had? Is he really this despised or is it just Telegraph readers? I would be encouraged if it were the former. I doubt any Telegraph article has had such a response. Save Newsnight - sack Ross!
ReplyDeleteHere's a thought: let's kill both, all the badgers and Nigella - see which one we miss most?
ReplyDeleteOh well, that poor old guy with the beard. He did look a bit familiar, but as "Alan Yentob" seems able to manifest in several difference places at once, I'm not so sure he exists at all, other than as a hologram. At least he was spared (I think) the raw, tepid lamb soused in vinegar and mixed up with horrid packet salad. Pour in half a bottle of Fernet Branca and this would be a dish fit for Jonathan Ross. I'm with Vince about the wildlife: every time you order a latte, a little badger dies, etc.
ReplyDeleteTalking of BBC whiskers, someone on The News Quiz apparently described stubble-chopped Mark Thompson as looking like a door-to-door salesman for pubic hair. Not v accurate, but funny. I think it was Kingley Amis who described John Gale as looking like an explosion in a pubic hair factory. That was funny and accurate.
ReplyDelete