It's The Obesogenic Environment, Stupid

Groundhog Day again, as 'obesity' once more elbows its lardy way to the top of the news agenda. In a development entirely unrelated to the government's discreet abandonment of its childhood obesity targets, this report has been published. Such is the state's desperation that they're now roping in evolutionary biology to make their case - though it's hard to discern a case at all. We live, it seems, in an 'obesogenic environment'. Well, the only way to sort that is to apply a totalitarian solution - or, the next best thing, bring back rationing. This would surely appeal to the frugal Son of the Manse. The hugely popular, inexpensive and bang-on-time ID card could be adapted to serve as a ration card as we queue in the grocers. Sustained by nourishing snoek, curiously shaped root vegetables and Wilton pie, Britain could stride leanly forward into a slimmer, brighter future. Sorted.