Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Ultimate List

What is it about lists? Bloggers do lists and blog lists seem to get millions of hits. I suppose lists provide two consolations - either you learn something or you feel you know better. I've done lists. Readers will remember the galactically popular Tolerable Equanimity list that transformed the lives of billions. My RSS reader having just bombarded me with hundreds of lists, I have decided to make a list of my favourite lists - my top ten of top tens.
10: Top ten ways of turning your iPhone into a Ducati
9: Top ten MPs with the best clipped nose hair whose constituency names begin with 'P'. 
8: Best chat-up lines when in Bali with a cold sore
7: Most disgusting uses of a cat. 
6: Most effective ways of convincing yourself that somebody is reading your blog
5:Best ways of disposing of your body
4: The greatest movies of all time that have not previously been in a list of the greatest movies of all time. 
3: Ten best ways of turning your 802.11g wireless network into a nuclear-hardened sleeping bag
2: Ten best one paragraph summaries of the late poetry of Wallace Stevens.
1: The list of lists of things not listed on other lists. 


  1. i once accused someone of being an Appleyard-stalker, but you, sir, are an Archer-stalker, which is surely even more worrying.

  2. I thought Archer's blog might be spoof, then I started to read it, and now I know it is. Whoever is impersonating him is making an excellent job, but runs a severe risk of libel action. To depict a public man as so blatantly odious is a dangerous pastime. The comical name-dropping alone is of Olympic proportions, like Mr A's athletic record.

    Shame on you, sir, for helping to disseminate this outrage.

  3. all the liinks go to godfrey archers webshite. do you know this? i'm a little drunk. its my birthday