Friday, February 15, 2008
Squirrels: the Backlash Begins
Grey squirrel-loathing is going mainstream. Jane Owen, the Times Online gardening expert (online gardening?!), advocates a cull. She is incensed by the bland claim of Lord Rooker that 'people like to see squirrels in their gardens'. Nige, I know, will be similarly incandescent, though he's probably more concerned about moorhens. I think the best solution for all would be some kind of squirrel-moorhen fricassee from Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall with which we could regain our strength after a long day of cat killing.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
They are vermin and if a bounty was offered for each tail delivered to DEFRA offices small boys would be richer and more connected with real life, learn to take responsibility for something important and have some fun. And there would soon be very few grey squirrels left.
ReplyDeleteIt's the silly suburban attitude to fluffy creatures that is largely to blame. Jeff Rooker represents such irresponsible silliness. As does the the man Macmillan writing in reply to the Times online article. How appropriate that he's writing from Balloch in Scotland.
Oh well, spring is acomin' in and all over the land posh gardeners are stirring from their winter torpor. I happen to like my local squirrels. There they are, gamboling to and fro along the top of the fence, flicking their tail most provocatively, or chasin' 'n' racin' in the sunshine. It all means spring.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't a better way to control their numbers be to inject daffodil bulbs with contraceptives?
As for cats, it's all too late. They are VIPs these days. See this.
her argument would carry more weight if she wasn't getting pissed over these 'invaders' eating her oh-so-precious, genetically modified, non-indigenous, grotesque flora! Let the 'weeds' grow, love - restrain gardeners!
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