Monday, February 04, 2008

Zoology and Serenity

When in cafes - yes, yes, sometimes Starbucks - I tend to sit on the high stools and place my coffee on the shelf so that I have an unobstructed view out on the street. This allows me to stare at people as if they are on a screen. It has recently struck me that my staring has changed. I have entered a new phase. The phases of people watching are pretty obvious. When young it is status-laden, sexual and tribal, loaded with heavy, insecure critiques of the passers-by. Then there is the anthropological phase. This lasts a long time and consists of slightly superior analysis of manner and appearance as if one were gathering material for a novel - though, in fact, it's obviously just status-seeking to distract one from the fact that one is no longer young. I have just - half an hour ago, in fact, in Cafe Nero in Notting Hill - emerged from this anthropological phase. I now regard people zoologically. All judgment and status anxiety are gone. I no longer feel a member of the same species as the passers-by. I watch their appearance and behaviour disinterestedly as if they were the animal protagonists in some TV wildlife show. They interest me but they do not bother me. For those of you who haven't got there yet, I can report that the zoological phase brings with it a wonderful feeling of serenity.

11 comments:

  1. Wonderful. If my therapist had told me that on day one I could have saved a bleeding fortune.

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  2. It's true. Something similar seems to happen to bloggers. At some point it no longer matters whether the blog is left or right, one just sits back and marvels at the fascinating "otherness" of it all.

    But I'm not sure it will last, Bryan. Time waits for no man and I fear someday we will stop seeing people zoologically and start seeing them extra-terrestrially. All those folks outside Starbucks will start looking scary and threatening and all blogs will resemble elberry's.

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  3. The beginning of wisdom is the recognition that one is not human, and that the human race should perish. Serenity does indeed follow.

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  4. How come you have time to sit in cafes, etc? I never do....
    I think it is Caffe Nero, btw (two effs)

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  5. One of the reasons I prefer to look out the window (only one of the reasons, mind) is to avoid having to witness the appalling spectacle of others eating. I'm afraid our eating habits (present company excluded, I'm sure) leave a lot to be desired and bear witness to the fact that we are indeed animals.

    I don't know about you lot, but I kind of like to forget we are animals most of the time, especially in the morning before I've had my first quadruple espresso.

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  6. I fear some sort of Sixth Sense surprise revelation here: Bryan's body is actually slumped over his coffee, and John Edwards will be revealed as having typed this post.

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  7. Your observation reminds me of one made by Margaret Atwood (I'm paraphrasing, 'cause I can't remember it verbatim) about women getting older: "After a certain age, it's simply a matter of what breed of dog you'll soon resemble."

    Creepily, lots of women I know *do* resemble certain kinds of dogs -- cocker spaniel eyes, Lhasa Apso hair, etc. Guess I know what's coming. I already shed like a golden retriever, so perhaps that's my breed!

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  8. Ah Susan - that happens with men too, especially if they foolishly wear their hair long after a certain age. Most men already have a head start in the jowls and dewlaps department...
    As for Bryan's sitting in cafes looking out, it seems logical to suggest that the effect of relaxed estrangement is enhanced by not being able to hear these creatures 'speak'. However, when you do hear them, they might as well be speaking Bulgarian. In fact they probably are.

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  9. I've had to cut down on my fancies!

    Still after it though.

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  10. Well yes, and all very well and that, but I bet when Monica Belluci sashays past the window Zoological man takes a break and the sex-starved idiot who hides deep in most men's brains comes rattling out in all his ghibbering glory.

    Serenity AND green ink? Now there's a clash.

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  11. If i recall aright, Bryan interviewed Monica Bellucci and sat within frotting-range for some time without committing any notably sexual assaults. That argues for considerable, indeed inhuman, restraint. One would at least expect him to pretend to fall off his chair and into her bosom, but no, he just sits there taking notes. Strange and serene.

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