How Not to Die

Of course, it's very important not to die and the Health and Safety Executive has been doing cutting edge work on the front line of not dying research. Notably, there was the revolutionary The Role of Towels as a Control to Reduce Slip Potential which broke the taboo against discussion of the use of towels on damp bathroom floors. Sadly, the investigation came to no very firm conclusions. Of course, the HSE has earned the derision of the uninformed, not least for the report - said to be no more than a rumour - that it wanted children to wear safety goggles while playing conkers and even that trees should be cut down to prevent children climbing them. Eager to limit the damage to its reputation caused by such stories, on the Today show this morning - again I may have dreamed this - an HSE man said they were sponsoring a conker competition. As I said, these guys are cutting edge. Meanwhile, not dying is helped enormously by not having a pot belly of any size whatsoever and by walking  a very small amount very occasionally. Of course, we all know that not buying Mattel toys is an excellent way of not dying, though only the not dying enthusiast is likely to be aware of the need to avoid Guatemala during an election campaign. Remember not dying is a full time job. Mind how you go and, hey, let's be careful out there.