Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Taking On The Cowdenbeath Crusher

Hopeful developments on the Tory front? Gentleman Dave Cameron, in promising a 'bare-knuckle fight' with Brown yesterday, revived a fine old English tradition. No true-born English reactionary could read this list without a sigh and a manly tear. Note, in particular, those evocative nicknames...


  1. Great list, you're right. The moment I heard that line from Cameron I knew he'd made a mistake. The bantam-chested Witney Whiner isn't capable of bare-knuckle anything. But then I wonder if Brown would play by the Queen's Rules? Given his size and centre of gravity, I imagine Brown's tactic would be to "sit" on his opponent and wiggle around a little Aussie camel stylee.

  2. oh, a great boxing fan, our Maj. no accident that received estuary pronunciation.

  3. I understand that if this proves a success, Cameron expects three members of his shadow cabinet to deliver, in his words, 'knock-out blows' against their opposite numbers. They are:

    William 'the Shudder' Hague, who would be the favourite of many to rout David 'young and slightly dangerous' Milliband;

    David 'original thought is a foreign country' Davis. Many would be worried about the apparent mis-match between an ex-SAS man and the splendid Jacqui 'focused but slightly edgy' Smith. However, David's experience should save him from a complete battering;

    George 'I can talk bollocks with the best of them' Osbourne, reckoned by many to go the distance face to eyebrows with Alistair 'deed pole is my only hope' Darling.

    The contests should take place early Oct or mid May; Queensbury rules would not apply, and Jacqui Smith has already been warned that spitting on fresh sawdust is just not on.

  4. presumably, after this fist-fight one or other or both of them will need to be transported to the nearest A&E department?