Monday, August 13, 2007
Ghengis Presley
I may have been dreaming, but I think I heard somebody say on the radio that, before long, one in four of the world's population will be Elvis impersonators. Meanwhile, it has emerged that one in every 200 men is descended from Ghengis Khan. This means that an awful lot of descendants of the great Khan must be - or will soon be - Elvis impersonators. Jump suits are available here; it seems to be slightly more difficult to dress as a Mongol horde. Is it August? I really hadn't noticed.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
On these statistics how soon before Elvis conquers the world?
ReplyDeleteWhen we reach one in four impersonators, he will return.
ReplyDeleteare the women included in this statistic? Elvis was related to Ghengis Khan - it's true, I heard it on the radio.
ReplyDeleteThe Welsh, being Welsh, claim Elvis as one of their own, even contriving to link him to the Preseli Hills. Doesn't stop him being a Khan of course.
ReplyDeleteI believe there's a female Elvis impersonator on Woman's Hour imminently. O dear.
I just spotted a gent with sideburns and wearing a plastic suit. I thought at first 'It's him!' but then decided 'No it is'nt, Elvis would never travel by chariot'.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I heard on the same programme that Tajikistan's favourite Elvis impersonator is called Lu Khan whose number 1 wife is called Sher Ghar.
ReplyDeleteI think I heard that's the same statistic for closet male homosexuality amongst long haul lorry drivers. I'm not suggesting there could be a connection but...
ReplyDeleteyou rarely see an Elvis impersonator trying to hitch a lift. why is that?
Ian, it has been known. One lorry driver refused him after Elvis said he'd just come from a jailhouse rock; he was wearing blue suede shoes and asking for a lift to a heartbreak hotel. Elvis was upset and said "don't be cruel, you must have a wooden heart". The lorry driver responded " No, but I do have a suspicious mind, because you have the look of a devil in disguise."
ReplyDeleteGod, what am I doing to Bryan's blog? Time to don my ghengis headgear and do something constructive outdoors.
Are you implying, Bryan, that the quality of journalism dips in the month of August? I flick through the pages of the Sunday Times main section every week, and I can guarantee you that every month is now August.
ReplyDeleteOn balance, I think a world in which 1 in 4 is an Elvis impersonator would be an improvement.
ReplyDeletei don't want to alarm anyone, but i am really Elvis. Been trying to live a quiet life.
ReplyDelete