Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Instant Vaporisation - The Way Forward?

Here's a hopeful development - though (a) it doesn't go nearly far enough, and (b) it most likely won't be enforced anyway. What is required is a device for instantly vaporising boombox cars and their inhabitants - or perhaps just the car, leaving the passengers sitting on the road in sudden slience, looking like complete arses. Once that's perfected, we can then move on to.... The floor's yours, bloggers.


  1. they could only find an acting sergeant to ask? is he in the extra specials by any chance?

    it's the thin end of the mighty wedge, nige. police state this way comes.

  2. Perhaps we could see a few more of Clive James' suggestions implemented. That would see the end of plastic bags on hedges, over-enthusiastic users of PA systems in parks on Sunday mornings and those loud and pointless phone calls on trains.

  3. Excellent idea. It's Chelsea Tractors that do it for me round here. When not elbowing each other to the floor in the food aisles of M&S, their owners parade about this quiet corner hogging the road and making it darn dangerous for cyclists and bikers. IME, Volvo and Lexux 4x4s are the worst offenders.

    A vaporizer might do, though it would also need to remove the clothes of these delinquents and not only their vehicle. For good measure, it should also remove their horrible sunbed tans and leave them white as fat grubs.

    Failing this, I've often thought that an M-72 HEAT round straight through the engine block would have roughly the same effect. There are several corners here offering an exceptional line of fire at oncoming traffic.

    And after that? Hmmn, I think a sackful of black mambas loosed into the estate agents that blight the high street. We'll keep the lamposts for the bankers.