Saturday, April 05, 2008

Twixt Torch and Trap

While he eagerly awaits the arrival of The Torch (a gift from the great People's Republic, of which more tomorrow), Gordon appears to have walked into yet another elephant trap of his own making. Such was his determination to steal a headline and discombobulate the Tories with his last Budget that he thought he could double the tax on the lowest paid in the land and get away with it. He did, to the extent that the Tories didn't even notice at the time (Ming the Old One spotted it). But now, a year on, it is about to happen, and Gordy is going to have to deal with it (laughter off).
It seems we now have a society in which people living on barely a third of average earnings (and substantially less than they'd be making if working fulltime on minimum wage) are having to pay tax at 20pc to subsidise the standing army of welfare-dependent non-workers - which they themselves now have every incentive to join. And so the state advances, and we workers devote a clear five months of every year's labour to it. A self-respecting vassal in feudal times would baulk at that.


  1. To commemorate the bi-centennial of the first ascent of Mont Blanc in 1786 by Balmat and Paccard, a torchlight procession wound its way up from the Arve valley, over the Bosses ridge, to the summit, a staggering sight.
    To commemorate the twin assaults (First steal their pensions, than tax the bastards `till the pips squeak) on the British people by Gordon "toothpick charlie" Brown a torch light procession, entirely made up of the poor and escorted by insolvency practitioners and Beadles will proceed from the debtors courts to the hastily rebuilt Newgate Prison.
    The route will be lined by a cheering throng of hedge fund managers, bank CEOs, the full FSA comic opera cast and at the Cenotaph Sauron himself, surrounded by house cleaners all waving revised copies of the Barnett formula and singing Goldfinger. Carol Vorderman will be standing at Nawgates Knocker, handing out leaflets advising on Debt consolidation. Next to her will stand Alan Sugar, advising on the entrepreneurial possibilities in the pen.
    Meanwhile the poor, as ever, will have zero access to dentists, lawyers, decent education, health or any kind of decent future.
    Just go now Gordon, and take that lunatic Mugabe with you.

  2. Malty, are you Hunter S Thompson reborn, perhaps? That's a great psychedelic vision of things, and rings true.

    Our society is in its last stages, i think. Future generations - if any historical records survive the great War - will look on us as madmen.

  3. Elberry, I agree with your thoughts on the last stages.
    I picture all of the cast and the props of 21st century living crossing the event horizon on a broad front, led by Mrs Peel in her lotus, set to the music of Philip Glasses Einstein on the Beach...
    1234 12345 123456 1234 12345678 1234 1234 123456 123456 12345678 1234 1234 123456 12345678
    Want to get some wind for the sailboat and its good to get full sail, these are the days my friend these are the days these are the dayssssssssssssss

    At this point AJP Taylors length increases to 1 mile and he screams.

    These are the days my friend these are the days.

  4. Rare sortie into the political but I agree wholeheartedly. Brown and his tattered band stink.

  5. I've been a labour supporter/voter for all my voting life, and have to say that this is positively the last straw in a long line of penultimate straws. I live in Scotland and, fortunately for us, we have another alternative.