Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Blame the Cows
You can always rely on green propagandists and vegetarians for a good laugh. Put them together and - bingo! What's more, Paul McCartney's right behind it - perfect.
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A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.
Given the number of beans he eats, I would expect Paul McCartney to be more flatulent than a cow. It’s why I keep writing to government to ask that something be done about the man and his wind.
ReplyDeleteIndeed Chip, cause for concern there - and think of the consequences of a wholesale shift from meat eating to bean eating. Cows are vegetarians of course - another good reason to kill them.
ReplyDeleteI remember Mrs Slocombe in 'Are You Being Served' saying (following the sound of flatulence) "Put a cork in it!". Would it work here? I suppose the case against it is the risk of mighty internal combustion and the explosive and immediate spread of foot and mouth from Surrey to all adjoining counties.
ReplyDeleteThe optimal position for the release of intestinal gas is, as it happens, the Moslem prayer position. As chickpeas loom so large in the middle eastern diet, this might explain the jostling for places in the front row...
ReplyDeleteAs the scientific debate is "over" and the matter so urgent we must act without further discussion, presumably the vegetarian/animal rights crowd feels we have no choice but to euthanize the whole lot. I mean, surely we can't have tens of millions of retired cows jeopardising the future of Mother Earth with their heavy carbon hoof prints. So they all must go. Mmmm, steak!
ReplyDeleteI vote we send in Nige and elberry to argue for the ecologically sensitive alternative of showing mercy on the cows and killing all the humans instead.
Is he still alive?!!
ReplyDeleteWhat are William Hills offering for him being outlived by Ringo Starr? I'd put a fiver on it but the bloke's got bad timing.
Sheesh, the things you learn. Vegetarians don't eat meat!
ReplyDeleteWell I never, I thought it meant they ate 'vegetarians', cows, sheep and such like. I mean, someone on a fish diet eats fish, etc..