Thursday, September 20, 2007

No Way, Jose

We shall miss Jose Mourinho. Britain needs a gesticulating Johnny Foreigner with an apparently misspelt name and a comical way with the language. His one shortcoming was that he was mysteriously good-looking. This is usually a sign of criminality among foreigners. 
PS I hear on the television news that he had to go because he had 'lost the dressing room'. We face the appalling prospect of the Chelsea players have to change - perhaps even shower - on the pitch. 


  1. Missed? He's left it six-to-nine months too late with his increasingly absurd whining. He should have jumped ship during the January transfer window at the latest.

    He was fabulously entertaining for a couple of seasons, but the joke has long since worn off. Although you cannot blame the seal for performing when the press keep throwing fish.

    He was, however, the one person that would get my missus in front of the telly when the footy's on. It's a ratings disaster in exclusively female households: the BBC will need to wheel out Ginola again.

    In this respect, Mourinho did literally change the face of football. There can be no going back to Ian Dowie.

  2. So thats why I'm often mistaken as being foreign. Tch!

  3. It's official, the world has gone mad:

    "The Prime Minister is a football fan and somebody who enjoys watching Premier League games, so he knows Mourinho has a fantastic record of success.

    "He's made a significant contribution to British football in a short period of time and he's also one of the great characters of the game."
    A spokesperson for PM Gordon Brown

  4. Johnny's right, the world is mad.

    I fully expect Gordon to summon the cameras when the British Conker Champion departs for that row of horse-chesnuts in the sky. He might say "Terry, or 'Big Conk' as he liked to be known, was everything that's good about Britain. He was resolute in the face of danger, as eight cracked knuckles testify; he maintained a smile in defeat, particularly when losing to the big Swede 'Eric the Pulveriser'; and the impact he had on a female audience when displaying his very large and shiny eighty niner will live forever in the memory"

    On a far more important note, the chances must be great that Roman (pronounced Kenyon - yuk!) will shortly arrive at the City of Manchester stadium waving his cheque book in the face of the money-mad Sven? Now why would Sven swap the delights of downtown Beswick for the Kings Road?